Real adventures involve a lot of sleeping on dirt and rocks. I wish I had more gold. I’d summon nature spirits to build us campsites every night if I could. Oh well.
We sloshed through the bog and fought some spitting drakes.
We also did some recon. Tamsen and Eugenium did their Eladrin teleporting trick to the top of trees, but they both thought the keep was unoccupied. After we approached, and Eugenium was on the receiving end of an arrowhead, we soon realized, it was not!
There was a big battle against the goblins of the keep. Tamsen and I are a great team! She and I stood side by side and together brought down the drawbridge. Eugenium was great too. I like that guy more day by day. I hate to admit it, but I like Pavel less day by day. He totally ran off and we haven’t seen him at all. Even though he’s prone to brooding diva trips, I do sincerely hope the guy is okay.
So yeah, the drawbridge came down, but there was a big barred gate. Of course! Unfortunately, my blade dancing has allowed me to develop a bit of grace and balance, but my arms are weaker than a Dwarf’s sense of humor. Once we realized we couldn’t get through, we did the smart thing. We ran.
In running, we found a wooded area and a magic pool… OF SLAVERY! Oh damn. Then I had the best idea I’ve had in my entire adventuring career, which yes, isn’t saying much. But check this out… if the evil elf in the keep was throwing the items of teenagers into the pool to turn them into slaves… what if we went back to the keep, collected some arrows, and turned some of those goblins into our slaves?! I’m not a gloater, but hey, I’m pretty proud of that idea.
It took awhile, but up came a goblin named Nosepick. I sang Fast Friends, then sang Word of Friendship. I told Nosepick I was his new master. I told him of all the riches we could share. I also managed to convince him that the gatekeeper really had it coming to him. So together, we all returned to the keep by night. Nosepick, the poor fellow, got a little confused, but managed to succeed in his task. The poor guy died in the ensuing battle.
I’d say more about the battle, but right now, this is all the time I have.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The ARCANOMICON of Eugenium Knott-Oberholt, WIZARD
Entry 461. The fire in this cottager's hearth is just a glimmer now. I am in a strange place, far from my experiments and little sister and Nanu. It's not a very nice hut, not far from a not-very-nice bog, but it seems warmer and nicer right here by the fire, my new friends all sleeping around me, than it does in my residence in Upper Valon. Perhaps the arcane properties of Valonian ice have a chilling effect on things besides ice? Or perhaps the absence of arcane properties in a place like this makes it seem more--*real*, like they said last night? I don't know. All I know is that I feel kind of--happy?
Entry 462. Somehow I thought that being a powerful wizard, a Chosen One, or a chosen one of a Chosen One, would be easier. But it's hard to avoid dire spiders when they drop from trees on your head! I am deeply embarrassed by the failure of my spells, especially because Tamsen's seem to have been much more effective. Everyone was so busy fighting, though, that they hardly noticed. Pavel sure does know his way around a riposte strike. Anyway, I should remind myself that an arcanomicon is not a place for idle speculations as to emotional states, but a place for serious reflection on my craft and arcanoscientific observations. Let us consider, therefore, the dire spider leg:
It is 56 qubits in length when fully extended, but considerably less when its segments are allowed to fold in, as they naturally tend to do. It is covered in coarse hairs that become finer on the posterior of the leg (facing what would have been the spider's body) and that become coarser closer to the bottom, almost horn-like, even, probably so that the spider can climb (and pounce from trees on unsuspecting wizards) more easily. It is surprisingly strong, despite a rather delicate appearance, has no discernible smell, and (I did it when no one was looking) a very disagreeable taste, contrary to the culinary opinion we heard in the nearby town.
Entry 462. Somehow I thought that being a powerful wizard, a Chosen One, or a chosen one of a Chosen One, would be easier. But it's hard to avoid dire spiders when they drop from trees on your head! I am deeply embarrassed by the failure of my spells, especially because Tamsen's seem to have been much more effective. Everyone was so busy fighting, though, that they hardly noticed. Pavel sure does know his way around a riposte strike. Anyway, I should remind myself that an arcanomicon is not a place for idle speculations as to emotional states, but a place for serious reflection on my craft and arcanoscientific observations. Let us consider, therefore, the dire spider leg:
It is 56 qubits in length when fully extended, but considerably less when its segments are allowed to fold in, as they naturally tend to do. It is covered in coarse hairs that become finer on the posterior of the leg (facing what would have been the spider's body) and that become coarser closer to the bottom, almost horn-like, even, probably so that the spider can climb (and pounce from trees on unsuspecting wizards) more easily. It is surprisingly strong, despite a rather delicate appearance, has no discernible smell, and (I did it when no one was looking) a very disagreeable taste, contrary to the culinary opinion we heard in the nearby town.
Chypirius, the Chosen One? a Real Adventurer?
Am I a chosen one? Is that possible? What does that even mean?
The Council was no help. They told us that they couldn’t do anything except call a meeting. What did they want us to do? Keep a dream journal. Yeah right. That won’t save Ashleigh and the gang.
That night we had more dreams (nightmares… omens…) Gnolls, a mausoleum, a shaman with a bone headdresses, and a skeletal face with burning red eyes… 12 keys… They open a door in Tarnull Port (Where is that?)… The first key is in a nearby bog infested with giant spiders?
I guess I need to roll with it. Some answers would be nice, but I guess intrigue is an important part of adventure, right? I’m really on an adventure… wow. Chyprius, the Bard of Valon and budding adventurer!
I sang the Traveler's Chant, a 10-minute song I've been learning in Bardic Performance Studies: Songs of Inspiration. We walked really fast!
We ran into Amores Thrucold and his guard Naydra on the road. Those criminals were selling the belongings of Avalonian teens to some creep in the bog, who uses their stuff to turn them into slaves! One of the items was Tamsen's comb! She could have been turned into a slave! We’re going to put a stop to that nonsense.
With one adventure, we might get one of the 12 keys, stop a villain and get a dire spider leg (long story…).
After a battle with them, which we won, we ushered the Dwarven jerks into the village. The villagers will keep them there, and we will turn them in to the proper authorities in Valon on our return journey. I know this won’t make me popular with the rougher side of L.V., but hey, adventurers do good, get treasure, and become the inspiration for epic tales. Those are all I want out of life. I want to have fun, make a difference, and be remembered.
In the village, we met Xavier, a kind man. We stayed with his family. He fed us and gave us a place to sleep by the fire. I entertained his family and other local children with juggling, songs and tales of adventure.
Villages are so different from cities. They all seemed so happy. Their home was filled with love, and joy. I’ve never felt so much love before. Their family seemed to really love each other, and crazier yet… they seemed to like each other…
The next morning we left and on our way to investigate the bog we were attacked by giant spiders! I was doing so well, but I’m ashamed to say that at one point, I nearly ran away. I decided to keep my ground, and immediately after, one of the spiders, the size of Trinna Wadskull, drove its fangs into my flesh, and I passed out… poisoned and dying. Tamsen brought me back. I’m so glad Pavel picked us up some healing potions.
Tamsen is my best friend. Pavel and Eugenium… well, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have picked them. I can also honestly say, now that I am with them, I wouldn’t pick anyone else.
The Council was no help. They told us that they couldn’t do anything except call a meeting. What did they want us to do? Keep a dream journal. Yeah right. That won’t save Ashleigh and the gang.
That night we had more dreams (nightmares… omens…) Gnolls, a mausoleum, a shaman with a bone headdresses, and a skeletal face with burning red eyes… 12 keys… They open a door in Tarnull Port (Where is that?)… The first key is in a nearby bog infested with giant spiders?
I guess I need to roll with it. Some answers would be nice, but I guess intrigue is an important part of adventure, right? I’m really on an adventure… wow. Chyprius, the Bard of Valon and budding adventurer!
I sang the Traveler's Chant, a 10-minute song I've been learning in Bardic Performance Studies: Songs of Inspiration. We walked really fast!
We ran into Amores Thrucold and his guard Naydra on the road. Those criminals were selling the belongings of Avalonian teens to some creep in the bog, who uses their stuff to turn them into slaves! One of the items was Tamsen's comb! She could have been turned into a slave! We’re going to put a stop to that nonsense.
With one adventure, we might get one of the 12 keys, stop a villain and get a dire spider leg (long story…).
After a battle with them, which we won, we ushered the Dwarven jerks into the village. The villagers will keep them there, and we will turn them in to the proper authorities in Valon on our return journey. I know this won’t make me popular with the rougher side of L.V., but hey, adventurers do good, get treasure, and become the inspiration for epic tales. Those are all I want out of life. I want to have fun, make a difference, and be remembered.
In the village, we met Xavier, a kind man. We stayed with his family. He fed us and gave us a place to sleep by the fire. I entertained his family and other local children with juggling, songs and tales of adventure.
Villages are so different from cities. They all seemed so happy. Their home was filled with love, and joy. I’ve never felt so much love before. Their family seemed to really love each other, and crazier yet… they seemed to like each other…
The next morning we left and on our way to investigate the bog we were attacked by giant spiders! I was doing so well, but I’m ashamed to say that at one point, I nearly ran away. I decided to keep my ground, and immediately after, one of the spiders, the size of Trinna Wadskull, drove its fangs into my flesh, and I passed out… poisoned and dying. Tamsen brought me back. I’m so glad Pavel picked us up some healing potions.
Tamsen is my best friend. Pavel and Eugenium… well, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have picked them. I can also honestly say, now that I am with them, I wouldn’t pick anyone else.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The DAILY ARCANOMICON of Eugenium Knott-Oberholt, WIZARD
Entry 460. My experiments with Valonian ice will have to wait. Something--perhaps my blood tie to cousin Ashleigh, but more likely my extensive knowledge of the arcane arts--has caused either the vestiges or souls of the Chosen Ones to make contact with me. They have also made contact with Tamsen, Pavel, and Chyp. We have taken our news to the Council and are currently waiting to hear what they think we should do. Until then I ponder with deep interest the fabric of these dream visions. The Chosen Ones have made clear to us that they are not dead, so they are not undead manifestations of spirit energy. Are they arcane sendings? Astral projections? Simulated simulacra? I should bring up this subject with Tamsen--I am sure she would be interested in it as well. Also: I cast Lepidus' Subzero Projectile (vulgar name: Ray of Frost) on a living target today with quite satisfying results. The victim was some human ruffian who was robbing Tamsen and may be involved in a scheme to collect, with nefarious arcane purpose, no doubt, the hair of adolescents.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Chypirius, Halfling Slayer
I sliced Trinna Wadskull in two. I didn't mean to. I mean, I meant to hurt her, she was robbing Tamsen, then threw a knife at Eugenium, but Corellan save me, I didn't mean to slice the woman in two. I was there in Tamsen's front yard, covered in her blood. Everything else is a blur. There was so much blood, thick clotted brown blood.
Sure, she's a scoundrel. I've known for years about Trinna's tricks about town. She's a real snake. I mean, she was a real snake. Now she's not much of anything.
Is this what adventurers do? Do they kill halflings? Is this my epic destiny?
The ritual to contact Illander failed.
Everything is falling apart.
I had another dream about Ashleigh. Tamsen, Eugenium and Pavel had their dreams again too. What in the name of the Infernal Planes is going on here? Apparently they are trapped in the Shadowfell and they are coming to us in our dreams asking for help. Why us? What am I to do? I sing songs of friendship and the most valorous act I've ever committed was slicing Trinna Wadskull in two for stealing some trinkets from Tamsen's house.
She was with two others. Eugenium froze one of them to death. Can I take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only murderer? Honestly, I was impressed with how well Eugenium stood his ground and fought with us. His actions seemed heroic. I just felt evil. It was a gratuitous display of violence. If I turn into my father, then kill me now.
The one of the three burglars who survived said that they were collecting teenager hairs. I don't understand any of this.
My thoughts are all over the place.
We went to the council, the three of us. Pavel wouldn't come. He stormed off again. I feel like a fink "telling the authorities" or whatever, but really, this is way beyond me. I'm just a kid with a lyre. I can juggle, I can dance, I know some songs and some poems, I can cast some basic rituals, and if I am attacked by a gang of halfling women, we can rest assured that I will cackle as I bathe in their blood, but the Shadowfell, the Chosen Ones, I don't understand any of this.
Sure, she's a scoundrel. I've known for years about Trinna's tricks about town. She's a real snake. I mean, she was a real snake. Now she's not much of anything.
Is this what adventurers do? Do they kill halflings? Is this my epic destiny?
The ritual to contact Illander failed.
Everything is falling apart.
I had another dream about Ashleigh. Tamsen, Eugenium and Pavel had their dreams again too. What in the name of the Infernal Planes is going on here? Apparently they are trapped in the Shadowfell and they are coming to us in our dreams asking for help. Why us? What am I to do? I sing songs of friendship and the most valorous act I've ever committed was slicing Trinna Wadskull in two for stealing some trinkets from Tamsen's house.
She was with two others. Eugenium froze one of them to death. Can I take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only murderer? Honestly, I was impressed with how well Eugenium stood his ground and fought with us. His actions seemed heroic. I just felt evil. It was a gratuitous display of violence. If I turn into my father, then kill me now.
The one of the three burglars who survived said that they were collecting teenager hairs. I don't understand any of this.
My thoughts are all over the place.
We went to the council, the three of us. Pavel wouldn't come. He stormed off again. I feel like a fink "telling the authorities" or whatever, but really, this is way beyond me. I'm just a kid with a lyre. I can juggle, I can dance, I know some songs and some poems, I can cast some basic rituals, and if I am attacked by a gang of halfling women, we can rest assured that I will cackle as I bathe in their blood, but the Shadowfell, the Chosen Ones, I don't understand any of this.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The DAILY ARCANOMICON of Eugenium Knott-Oberholt, WIZARD
Entry 458. My etiquette test is tomorrow, which means I do not have time this evening for pleasure reading, i.e., Quirinus's A History of Arcano-Naval Stratagems or, even better, Travels on the Planes: Throgmorton's Picturesque Diary of a Year in the Elemental Chaos. My alchemical experiments with Avalonian ice will also have to wait, though I am very excited by last week's finding that it melts at the same rate as mundane ice when exposed to magical fire subsisting on a 6:3:1 ratio of sulphur, brimstone, and residuum. I wonder if I could devise an infernal compound that undoes fey-based enchantment. Maybe I should talk to Tamsen about it? I wish she would show me her powers. Her warlock powers, of course.
Entry 459. It is lucky that I carry my daily arcanomicon with me wherever I go, because I am at Tamsen's party and writing in it is the only thing I can think to do until the ritual starts. Ritual, you ask? Why yes; it's an almost certain-to-fail, cobbled-together rudimentary composite of a sending and a speak-with-dead ritual, the components of which I had to help procure by breaking into Iliaebor's tower with Pavel and Tamsen. The good part is that now Pavel really thinks I'm cool and smart, Chyp, who is a really good friend, thinks I'm even cooler than he did before--and, well, Tamsen and I were alone together for a second beneath a fruit tree. I think she might be a little intimidated by me. And the wizard Illiaebor was impressed by my knowledge and, additionally, my tactful use of etiquette (I of course passed my test).
One more thing: last night I had a realistic dream vision of a warrior-like Viridistanian in my laboratory. I think it was Sadush Seaborn, the one who disappeared with cousin Ashley.
Entry 459. It is lucky that I carry my daily arcanomicon with me wherever I go, because I am at Tamsen's party and writing in it is the only thing I can think to do until the ritual starts. Ritual, you ask? Why yes; it's an almost certain-to-fail, cobbled-together rudimentary composite of a sending and a speak-with-dead ritual, the components of which I had to help procure by breaking into Iliaebor's tower with Pavel and Tamsen. The good part is that now Pavel really thinks I'm cool and smart, Chyp, who is a really good friend, thinks I'm even cooler than he did before--and, well, Tamsen and I were alone together for a second beneath a fruit tree. I think she might be a little intimidated by me. And the wizard Illiaebor was impressed by my knowledge and, additionally, my tactful use of etiquette (I of course passed my test).
One more thing: last night I had a realistic dream vision of a warrior-like Viridistanian in my laboratory. I think it was Sadush Seaborn, the one who disappeared with cousin Ashley.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
From the Diary of Tamsen Larkspur
Ugh.
I was just returning some stolen garments to my walk-in when I decided to shut the door, take a load off, and write in you, dear diary. (Corellan, I forgot I had you! The last entry is from, like, three years ago and about something shitty Ashleigh Oberholt did to Eugenium after Enthusiasm Squad.) Anyway, I don't have long before people will miss me. Yes, there's another party here in the Chalet! My parents will flip, but I really didn't mean to let this happen again.
These past two weeks have been totally nuts. I took the eldritch pact two weeks ago and my life will never be the same. In a way, it's good. The boring life my parents laid out for me is no longer possible. I'll never be somebody's demure little wife, running an estate and barking orders at servants. On the other hand, and just between you and me, I think my pact was with something evil and not with the fey like I thought. I should have known that when the ritual called for me to eat the raw brains from a goats head that meant it wasn't a feywild pact.
Ugh! Peer pressure!
Now I can feel all this power surging throughout my body. It's very... disturbing. And a little exciting? Also, the chalet is haunted because of my pact (we think.) I had a dream that the missing girl named Laird was here and the same night Chip, who was sleeping over, saw ASHLEIGH OBERHOLT IN MY KITCHEN!!!! This is getting so scary and everybody is talking about me behind my back.
Anyway, Chip and I went to L.V. to see the Smokin' Crystals. They were so awesome!!! I wish I was as tough and cool as those two women. Maybe I will be now that I'm a warlock. I can't wait to get out of school and adventure and shed the shackles of privilege. I'm off track again...
The party happening outside my closet door is for that girl Jara, who wants to take the eldritch pact. FUCK. HER. Ugh! I told her it was dangerous, but she just wants to be cool. Well, trying to be cool is what killed Yew Tosscobble and that first year boy whose name I can't remember. Chip and I bought some elixer to use during her "pact." We're going to make her get undressed and have Jana and Jacqueline rub it on her so they'll all sprout hair.
The bigger news, however, is that Jara has a spell that (hopefully) will let us contact Illander Illrune beyond the grave. Correlan, I miss him so! I guess some people are too beautiful for this world. We didn't have the proper componenets (saphire dust and a dire spider leg) so me and Eugenium and Pavel broke into my neighbor Illyabore's (sp?) tower and convinced him to give it to us. Ugh! He finally did after cutting off a lock of my hair and making us promise to replace the ingrediants within two days with a note from my parents. Ugh! How is that even possible? (I have some of the elixer on my head right now. Grow, bangs, grow!)
When i got back to the chalet there were about a billion people here. (I forgot to mention that the Smokin' Crystals are playing AT MY HOUSE! Chip is, like, dying.) Some bitches were trying to steal my clothes so I threatened to curse them. It's funny, I didn't realize until just now writing it that I ACTUALLY CAN CURSE PEOPLE.
Anyway, we're about to try the spell so I should go. I few thoughts.
1. Having power is scary.
2. I can make boys do just about anything.
3. I'm really lucky to have Chip for a friend.
4. Pavel wasn't wearing a shirt and he has a smoking body! OMG a totally have a girl boner for his abs.
5. I spent all my gold. Corellan, that means I have to ask my parents for me.
6. I think Eugenium disapproves of my power. I'm not totally sure if that matters to me? I just feel this weird connection to him because his cousin was my best friend for years and years and years.
7. I failed my Etiquette test. UGH!
Hearts,
Tamsen Larkspur
I was just returning some stolen garments to my walk-in when I decided to shut the door, take a load off, and write in you, dear diary. (Corellan, I forgot I had you! The last entry is from, like, three years ago and about something shitty Ashleigh Oberholt did to Eugenium after Enthusiasm Squad.) Anyway, I don't have long before people will miss me. Yes, there's another party here in the Chalet! My parents will flip, but I really didn't mean to let this happen again.
These past two weeks have been totally nuts. I took the eldritch pact two weeks ago and my life will never be the same. In a way, it's good. The boring life my parents laid out for me is no longer possible. I'll never be somebody's demure little wife, running an estate and barking orders at servants. On the other hand, and just between you and me, I think my pact was with something evil and not with the fey like I thought. I should have known that when the ritual called for me to eat the raw brains from a goats head that meant it wasn't a feywild pact.
Ugh! Peer pressure!
Now I can feel all this power surging throughout my body. It's very... disturbing. And a little exciting? Also, the chalet is haunted because of my pact (we think.) I had a dream that the missing girl named Laird was here and the same night Chip, who was sleeping over, saw ASHLEIGH OBERHOLT IN MY KITCHEN!!!! This is getting so scary and everybody is talking about me behind my back.
Anyway, Chip and I went to L.V. to see the Smokin' Crystals. They were so awesome!!! I wish I was as tough and cool as those two women. Maybe I will be now that I'm a warlock. I can't wait to get out of school and adventure and shed the shackles of privilege. I'm off track again...
The party happening outside my closet door is for that girl Jara, who wants to take the eldritch pact. FUCK. HER. Ugh! I told her it was dangerous, but she just wants to be cool. Well, trying to be cool is what killed Yew Tosscobble and that first year boy whose name I can't remember. Chip and I bought some elixer to use during her "pact." We're going to make her get undressed and have Jana and Jacqueline rub it on her so they'll all sprout hair.
The bigger news, however, is that Jara has a spell that (hopefully) will let us contact Illander Illrune beyond the grave. Correlan, I miss him so! I guess some people are too beautiful for this world. We didn't have the proper componenets (saphire dust and a dire spider leg) so me and Eugenium and Pavel broke into my neighbor Illyabore's (sp?) tower and convinced him to give it to us. Ugh! He finally did after cutting off a lock of my hair and making us promise to replace the ingrediants within two days with a note from my parents. Ugh! How is that even possible? (I have some of the elixer on my head right now. Grow, bangs, grow!)
When i got back to the chalet there were about a billion people here. (I forgot to mention that the Smokin' Crystals are playing AT MY HOUSE! Chip is, like, dying.) Some bitches were trying to steal my clothes so I threatened to curse them. It's funny, I didn't realize until just now writing it that I ACTUALLY CAN CURSE PEOPLE.
Anyway, we're about to try the spell so I should go. I few thoughts.
1. Having power is scary.
2. I can make boys do just about anything.
3. I'm really lucky to have Chip for a friend.
4. Pavel wasn't wearing a shirt and he has a smoking body! OMG a totally have a girl boner for his abs.
5. I spent all my gold. Corellan, that means I have to ask my parents for me.
6. I think Eugenium disapproves of my power. I'm not totally sure if that matters to me? I just feel this weird connection to him because his cousin was my best friend for years and years and years.
7. I failed my Etiquette test. UGH!
Hearts,
Tamsen Larkspur
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