From the Diary of Tamsen Larkspur

Ugh.

I was just returning some stolen garments to my walk-in when I decided to shut the door, take a load off, and write in you, dear diary. (Corellan, I forgot I had you! The last entry is from, like, three years ago and about something shitty Ashleigh Oberholt did to Eugenium after Enthusiasm Squad.) Anyway, I don't have long before people will miss me. Yes, there's another party here in the Chalet! My parents will flip, but I really didn't mean to let this happen again.

These past two weeks have been totally nuts. I took the eldritch pact two weeks ago and my life will never be the same. In a way, it's good. The boring life my parents laid out for me is no longer possible. I'll never be somebody's demure little wife, running an estate and barking orders at servants. On the other hand, and just between you and me, I think my pact was with something evil and not with the fey like I thought. I should have known that when the ritual called for me to eat the raw brains from a goats head that meant it wasn't a feywild pact.

Ugh! Peer pressure!

Now I can feel all this power surging throughout my body. It's very... disturbing. And a little exciting? Also, the chalet is haunted because of my pact (we think.) I had a dream that the missing girl named Laird was here and the same night Chip, who was sleeping over, saw ASHLEIGH OBERHOLT IN MY KITCHEN!!!! This is getting so scary and everybody is talking about me behind my back.

Anyway, Chip and I went to L.V. to see the Smokin' Crystals. They were so awesome!!! I wish I was as tough and cool as those two women. Maybe I will be now that I'm a warlock. I can't wait to get out of school and adventure and shed the shackles of privilege. I'm off track again...

The party happening outside my closet door is for that girl Jara, who wants to take the eldritch pact. FUCK. HER. Ugh! I told her it was dangerous, but she just wants to be cool. Well, trying to be cool is what killed Yew Tosscobble and that first year boy whose name I can't remember. Chip and I bought some elixer to use during her "pact." We're going to make her get undressed and have Jana and Jacqueline rub it on her so they'll all sprout hair.

The bigger news, however, is that Jara has a spell that (hopefully) will let us contact Illander Illrune beyond the grave. Correlan, I miss him so! I guess some people are too beautiful for this world. We didn't have the proper componenets (saphire dust and a dire spider leg) so me and Eugenium and Pavel broke into my neighbor Illyabore's (sp?) tower and convinced him to give it to us. Ugh! He finally did after cutting off a lock of my hair and making us promise to replace the ingrediants within two days with a note from my parents. Ugh! How is that even possible? (I have some of the elixer on my head right now. Grow, bangs, grow!)

When i got back to the chalet there were about a billion people here. (I forgot to mention that the Smokin' Crystals are playing AT MY HOUSE! Chip is, like, dying.) Some bitches were trying to steal my clothes so I threatened to curse them. It's funny, I didn't realize until just now writing it that I ACTUALLY CAN CURSE PEOPLE.

Anyway, we're about to try the spell so I should go. I few thoughts.

1. Having power is scary.

2. I can make boys do just about anything.

3. I'm really lucky to have Chip for a friend.

4. Pavel wasn't wearing a shirt and he has a smoking body! OMG a totally have a girl boner for his abs.

5. I spent all my gold. Corellan, that means I have to ask my parents for me.

6. I think Eugenium disapproves of my power. I'm not totally sure if that matters to me? I just feel this weird connection to him because his cousin was my best friend for years and years and years.

7. I failed my Etiquette test. UGH!

Hearts,
Tamsen Larkspur

Day 11, Ashleigh's War Journal

So much has happened. I hardly know where to begin--we have left Malacar and have started a grand new adventure across the sea! Laird has met her long-lost half-sister, who Jacamoolay sold into slavery sixteen years ago! These events are truly thrilling, but why do I feel so out of touch with reality?

I have...changed, or something. I don't feel like myself. Are the others looking at me strangely? I mean, Sadush always *did* look at me strangely--but the others--I think they notice it too. My meeting with Queen Valonia in the other world did it to me--her cold white hand!--I dream about that in addition to my other dreams. I feel stronger, in some ways, but weaker in others--like, if I had to lead the Eladrin Elite Enthusiasm Squad in a Tripartite Pyramidal Cheer of Absolute Elitism, I don't think I could do it. But I feel stronger as a warrior, and the magic that...Erevan...taught me has found a new outlet in my sword, to which I feel strangely attached these days. It's as if it's become a part of me. But somehow it doesn't feel like that old magic, which I seem to have totally forgotten.

Erevan! Why did I forget his name when we wrote to Valon? I hadn't given a thought to him after I woke up from being dead. And when I remembered him, it was like trying to remember someone from a really, really long time ago. W.J., I don't think I love him. I don't think I love...ANYBODY.

At least I have my poetry. It's my one connection to the old Ashleigh!

When once the vessels passed from Valon's view,
Horizon-bound, a star-like glimmering
Remained, to their passage testament,
And vanished moments hence; the sunset burned
Upon the water; and then the sea
Did darken with the night, did swallow
Night, and by the night seemed swallowed.
And Valon wept for tribulation sure,
And hoped for victory less certain.

Day 10, Ashleigh's War Journal

Dear W.J.,

I died. And then I came back! Not just knocked out, you know, but actually DEAD!!! Don't worry, I'm STILL the same old Ashleigh. The screeching tangleweed might have done us in (again), but they didn't do in the heart and soul of the Eladrian Elite Enthusiasm Squad. The others brought me back to town on a stretcher. I believe they must have been tearing their hair out with grief over the fall of their leader. And now, now that I have seen the other world and come back, I think they believe I'm even more of a hero than ever. Damn it, though, I'm NOT pleased about this streak of grey hair. Perhaps I'll dye it. Maybe it'll be another girls' day out for me and Laird soon.

Now let me tell you about being dead. It's like being asleep, except totally different, because you KNOW that you're dead and your WHOLE BEING is walking through the dark. I can't remember all of it--but it was terrible--and strangely exhilarating at the same time--I have a memory of meeting Avalonia, queen of Valon and family matriarch, who showed me all sorts of things, past, present, and future, and touched me with her cold white hand. I saw things important to the Chosen Ones, including--well, I'll tell you more about it later.

But guess what? Like I said, I'm still the same old Ashleigh, W.J. Don't worry. I'm even working on my new hobby of poetry still!

SING, oh Muse, of war; of storms that shook
The sea host who, trembling inwardly,
But with fair faces imperturbable,
Upon the wine-dark waves with resolution
Scudded; behold the elven ships all sleek
And white, the prows all forward pending
Like spears of silver, gleaming sharp;
The officers with longswords poised, proud host!
The mages wise, with subtle abjurations
Taming wild serf and quelling winds;
And, tallest standing, dragons' bane,
The paladins with arms and armor holy
Who stood stern-faced against Orichilan.

Day 9, Ashleigh's War Journal

Dearest W.J.,

The lessons of the High Botanist really could have come in handy, as screeching...thistleweed? adventureweed? arugula? (it almost killed me, but I still can't get the name right) was nearly the end of all of us. Things got a little better once I realized, midway through the battle, that I could move my arms and legs and attack after all, but we were still almost done in by those distant cousins of Sadush. They really had it in for him, btw. Anyway, I think we need to reconsider our goals. Our task for Jacamoolay has turned out to be more than a mere errand, and if we want to do the plant creatures in we will have to invent a better strategy. On the other hand, we could just return to her empty-handed, but I assume she won't like that.

TOP SECRET!!!!
The wild elf who is our guide is so handsome. I find myself strangely attracted to him despite his wild garb and unkempt hair--or is it because of these things? He is not like any eladrin I know, certainly not like Erevan. But he is still SO HANDSOME. But he is also a coward, it seems, and his eating habits are truly disgusting. And of course I'm in love with Erevan anyway, right? I probably just miss him so much and am trying not to think about him and so that's why I keep forgetting he even exists...right?

I am going to attempt another poem. I wonder if I should show my works to Illander? On second thought, NEVER!

Wild elf in the trees
Why do I think of bees
When I sees
Your hair in the breeze?

Bees in the flowers
Full of pretty powers--
Of buzzing and honey
When it is sunny!

Day 8, Ashleigh's War Journal

Dear W.J.,

In the middle of the woods right now, looking for ettercap venom and...stinkweed? Slippery elm? Purple cone-flower? I should have paid more attention to the lessons of the High Botanist. I hope Laird wrote the name down down. It's been a fun few days, and even though we're in the middle of the woods, it's dark, we were just beset by about thirty rats (I took out--hmm--twenty-seven of them?) and betrayed by our doppelganger guides, I am more certain than ever that I am a Chosen One and a great destiny awaits me.

I have to admit that a lot of it has to do with getting away from that wretched island and being back in civilization--if that's what you want to call Malacar--AND getting to take a bath at the Spotted Lion. AND being away from the boys. Laird is no Eladrin Enthusiasm Squadette, but she's actually kinda fun, and we had a blast together while the boys idled around the marketplace and accomplished almost nothing. Laird and I, on the other hand, had the following great adventures together:

1. The adventure of the ivory comb, in which I purchased an ivory comb for Laird and surprised her with it.
2. The adventure of Jacamoolay's shop, in which we learned more about the mysterious seller of poisons, including the fact that she had an affair with the Lrod Mayor of Malacar. We also very subtly made offer of our adventuring services to her, so that I am sure she considers us very valuable heroes and perhaps even potentially great friends. No word of her son, however.
3. The adventure of the Mayor's lizard livestock, in which we decided not to participate in cleaning up after lizards.
4. The adventure of the nefarious guides, in which we are still participating. The guides led us to this very spot in the woods and abandoned us/led us into a rat-trap. I have no doubt that these are the same guides who attacked us on the beach disguised as Maleogre and Diane. We also saw them again in Jacamoolay's shop. We followed them here against MY better judgment, and have had our magic scroll stolen. NOTE TO SELF: Listen to better judgment ALWAYS.
5. The adventure of the baths and jasmine oil, in which we took baths after purchasing luxurious jasmine oil.

Day 7, Ashleigh's War Journal

Dearest W.J.,

Here I am in the bathysphere again, but with much more adventure under my belt. Can you believe that Laird saw the demon prince of the undead, Orcus? It is quite a terrifying thought--and *thought* it just might have been, as the Decorum Enforcer told us that NO GOD would have been oblivious to our presence. I wonder if Laird is as batty as Illander. Still, if what she saw WAS Orcus, or even looked like Orcus, I'm kinda glad I didn't see it.

Sadush was quieter than normal--he hardly talked at all--perhaps he will soon begin to grow leaves.

Now to take stock of the situation. We are looking for an eladrin teenager or a hyenaman or both. We'll try Malacar, but I don't know how exactly we're supposed to look around. Jacamoolay is clearly a part of things, but we can't have her know that we're investigating her--especially because she's already suspicious of us.

Now let me vent. I miss Erevan terribly, and Daddy too, but I'm beginning to think I don't miss either of them enough. I miss feeling like queen of the world, though, and lording it over the other girls of the Enthusiasm Squad. Being out here on my own--even with the other Chosen Ones by my side--makes me feel lonely and vulnerable. Never mind the fact that I look death in the eye ALMOST EVERY DAY!!!! I'm trying--REALLY trying--to relate to the others. But no, I'm alone in the world, it seems. I wonder if Illander really writes poetry? Perhaps I should try:


Why do I feel so hopeless and bad?
Maybe because I am lonely and sad.
Maybe it's because I don't have my dad,
Or maybe I miss my beautiful lad.*

But maybe it's just cuz I'm a beautiful girl
Alone in her heart and alone in the world.

This is hard!!! Maybe I should try to write a poem that doesn't rhyme, like Illander suggested.

*Erevan is who I mean.

Day 5, Ashleigh's War Journal

Dear Diary War Journal,

It's going to be hard for me to get used to your new name! Anyway, I have a great victory to report. The Chosen Ones entered the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, destroyed the lizardman shaman, and now have the amulet we have all seen in our dreams. Almost as important as all that was the discovery of a new little friend.

Diary War Journal, Lil' Genius is made of onyx. It looks like he's a chihuahua statue, and really, he is...Until I say his name! Then appears beside me the loveliest little lively breathing chihuahua-dog you, I, or ANYONE has ever seen, with glossy big eyes and short black hair and paws that clatter and tap. So cute! I do wish, though, that he didn't have to disappear after eight hours, so he could curl up beside me when I rest. I am very lonely these days!

The other Chosen Ones are company, I guess, but--well, there are some problems. Sadush is nice--there, I said it--but, you know, GREEN. Laird clearly respects and perhaps worships me, but it's SO HARD to be a GODDESS!!! Illander--He's really beginning to grate on me. It's clear that he has massive insecurities that he covers up by being mean to other people, like me. I know he can't use real magic because he's not smart enough, has handsome and talented older brothers that make him look like the family goblin, and would rather be in a bubble bath with Ambassador Telimqiv than tromping around in the desolate wilderness,--but SERIOUSLY?

Well, at least I have the company of Lil' Genius. Aw, he's chasing his tail! Bye bye War Journal.

Day 4, Ashleigh's War Journal

Dear Diary, WAR JOURNAL,

I guess these lizardfolk mean business. Somehow we survived the battle in their lair, but it was disastrous. I heard from the others that they tried a frontal assault and that something they called a "vine whore" slew most of the halflings (such strange creatures abound outside of Valon! Flying dolphins, translucent pianomen, and now prostitutes made of plants. Good thing Sadush didn't see her--HAHA!) Of course, things might have gone better had *I* been leading them and not Illander and Laird--whom I of course managed to save from being eaten by a crocodile--one of my goals, BTW, is to save her from HERSELF--We have a makeover planned and she will no doubt be partial to ANYTHING I suggest--but I plan to be kind, not cruel--cruelty is really not a part of my nature.

Anyway, we're now heading back to the dreary halfling settlement in this dreary bathysphere. Everyone is in low spirits, myself included. I do not know why the lizardman shaman we've seen in our dreams decided to spare us, but I know one thing--I'LL MAKE HIM REGRET IT.

So why have I started calling you a war journal, dearest diary? Well, I'm going to make some plans. It is what all the great commanders do--Granddad did it--and because I'm already a great commander I feel a little late to the party, you know? So here goes:

STRATEGIES FOR THE FUTURE
1. Frontal Assault? No. Tried that with a bathysphere and failed. The lizardmen will be prepared next time, and I fear we saw only a portion of their forces and only a small bit of their wretched dungeon.
2. Rear Assault? I do not think they have a rear--and if they did, Illander would probably have investigated it already because he is a homosexual.
3. Floor plan? This is where the halflings can help us. They live in a big stone dragon statue too, so maybe their network of caves is similar or identical to the lizardmen's. And MAYBE just MAYBE there's a secret entrance somewhere. A small party--say four CHOSEN ONES--could investigate, proceeding carefully and running if things looked too grim.
4. Return to Valon? No--we're here and any time we lose could help the enemies. I do not think they understand who they are dealing with--yet.
5. What about the rest of the island? If the lizardmen decide to make war on *us*, we need to know the lay of the land. Ask halflings.
6. Draconic runes: ask the halflings.
7. Consult Dungeon Master for any research problems, but do not bother trying to talk to Daddy because he is SO busy, probably with STEPMANTICORE. Daddy, Daddy, I'm through! For instance, ask about the possibility of EVIL CHOSEN ONES. The lizardman shaman looked to be about OUR age.

Day 3, Ashleigh Oberholt's Internal Monologue While Cruelly Imprisoned by Lizardmen

[Pacing.] How could this have happened? I am a Chosen One! A ridiculous series of events makes me fall on the field of battle--and I wake to find myself imprisoned by lizardmen, who, as everyone knows, are vicious disgusting cannibals, and as I know very well from my yeah-I-get-it repetitious dream sequences are also into sacrificing their victims. [Shaking head in wonder.] (I DID NOT know that they move three times as fast as other creatures and can walk on water, like the famous wine merchant of Viridistan.) Viridistan--Hmm, at least Sadush is here. [Glancing at Sadush.] That I ever thought myself capable of thinking THAT, or that I should consider myself glad to see his verdant hide--it makes me feel more dismal than ever. [Sitting down, head in hands.] If only Daddy had seen me off, perhaps I would have had the strength to smash that lizardman's skull. Doesn't he know that without his confidence in me I have...less...confidence in myself? Dark, disturbing thoughts. [Shaking head as if to rid herself of dark, disturbing thoughts.] In any case, if I die here, I am glad that he probably won't know that I failed miserably before I died--hmm--but then Valon would fall--and as a consequence he would *still* know that I failed!!! SO I MUSTN'T FAIL [Clenching her first unconsciously]. I have to get out of here. Perhaps Laird and Illander are seeking help. They both seem like people that don't mind asking for help once in a while--I know that I DON'T--which is, I guess, why they are who they are and why I am who I am--fiercely independent and beautiful. [Smiling slightly, despite the wretched circumstances.] Well, I can't blame myself in any way for being here, which is a relief. [Stands up and flips hair resolutely, then, struck by a thought, gropes in her backpack.] And we still have the Dungeon Master!!!

Day 2, Ashleigh Oberholt to Erevan Illrune

Dearest Erevan,

I am SO LONELY without you!!! You would not believe where I am staying--a rickety old house inhabited by a rickety old alchemist. I am so tired of the filth that seems to be everywhere that *isn't* Upper Valon--today we had to descend into the caves of some goblins to get a piece of magicum. My leadership prevailed, and the goblin leader gave us the magicum without much of a fight--Or rather, after I had planted on his sorry hide the most glorious sword swipe of the day.

Sadush felled four goblins all at once, which was impressive, but he vomited afterwards (after becoming the greenest shade of green I believe anyone has ever seen), which was LESS SO. But his Valonian training has clearly done him good. He is definitely learning from me, too, and I never fail to give him a few pointers after battle!!!

It is strange how powerful your little brother has become so fast--but I suppose it is not so much his own power as that of having been born a Chosen One. He is a little cold toward me, but he has always envied you. It is also very likely he secretly thinks I'm beautiful.

Ugh! The filthy half-elf, who just so happens to speak Goblin (of course), keeps nosing around. Did you know that she pretended to be blind in order to get a free sandwich? NOT very heroic. Today she fell into a trap (which I believe if she is supposed to do anything right it's look for traps, right???!?) and also insulted me after I gently asked whether being in a goblin hole aroused her (I believe she had a goblin boyfriend who read her poetry in that language).

Just this past moment I was finally able to make fire: the logs in the fireplace burst into flame--just like you taught me!!!

xoxoxo

Ashleigh

P.S. Tomorrow we ride in the bathysphere. I am confused about how it works.
P.P.S. The goblins somehow had a suit of eladrin chainmail which was PERFECT for me. It very nicely accentuates my breasts (which as you know are quite shapely) and is studded with rose quartz and decorated with a silvery filigree of acanthus leaves and daisies. Its style is old and I do not think it was made in Valon. Retro and pink are BOTH in--NOT that you would know, you are SO MANLY and must detest this girlish talk!!!
P.P.P.S. Have you seen Father?

Day 1, Ashleigh Oberholt to Erevan Illrune

My Dearest Love Erevan,


It is so hard to be a Chosen One because it means that I have to be away from you!--but otherwise, I seem to be up to the challenge. I wish I could say the same for the other (non-Eladrin) Chosen Ones, who just got over being miserably ill from a battle with rats--RATS! Daddy always told me that the lack of privilege made folk from Lower Valon "hearty," but I have seen precious little proof of it. One of them is--I kid you not!--totally green, like kale.

I'm taking very good care of your little brother--He's so sweet and well-meaning--I'm a little annoyed that he talked me into spending all of my money on carrion crawler brain juice, but the little guy was so excited about it that I couldn't help it. He's just like a little kid! Of course, his powers (such as they are) are nothing compared to yours. I wish YOU had been a Chosen One instead, but I guess that would go against the whole being-born-on-the-same-day prophecy--I *love* that you are so mature and strong and wise. I miss you, and all of Upper Valon--the rest of the world seems so dingy--or most of it, anyway. Did you know ice was COLD?

The wizards and alchemists downstairs are making such a row. What could it be about, I wonder? The people here are very WEIRD! Illander and I visited a twisted old wizard today who should be able to get us where we want to go, but first we have to find a magicum core that some goblins stole. He has something called a bathysphere which goes underwater.

Speaking of magic, guess what?! I have almost mastered that little trick you showed me of making things burst into flame. It just goes to show that anything is possible for me when I put my mind to it!

Love and hearts to you my Erevan,
Ashleigh

P.S. I wish you could see the flying dolphins at sunset. They are so beautiful. I whispered to them that I knew how they felt--but I can NEVER truly know how they feel without you by my side!!!!

Day 0, Ashleigh's Diary

Dear Diary,

I led the Eladrin Elite squad today. Everyone performed miserably! Our martial flair was absolutely flairless, the swords couldn't cut air, and the spear section might as well have impaled itself. Seriously, I do not know what these wretches do in their spare time but it CERTAINLY isn't practicing formations. Also, Councilman Verun's daughter looks SO fat. I pointed this out as subtly as I could by counting double when I came to her in roll call. She left crying, so I think she took the hint.

Father says I have to attend the Council with him soon. He insists that I spend time with the Woman-Who-Is-Not-My-Mother (also known as the Queen of Stupidity. Step-Manticore, or simply THE BITCH), who can teach me the finer points of speaking in the House. I told him I could pick up the same wisdom from him, but he says that he is far too busy. He IS a High Councilman, of course. Other girls should be so lucky.

I had another dream last night. Not pleasant, but then it seems that hardship is my lot in life. No one really knows what I face EVERY DAY. Father says I'm very hard on people--but life is hard on ME; perhaps because it expects so much from me. I suppose it IS rather silly of me to expect as much from other people...But if I were one of them, I would feel privileged to serve me.

xoxoxo
Ashleigh

The Players

Sadush Seaborn...........................................Adrian

Shipwrecked Young Sailor of Viridistan, now Soldier of Valon
HUMAN FIGHTER

Ashleigh Oberholt.........................................Zach

Valonian Noble, Leader of the Eladrin Elite Enthusiasm Squad
ELADRIN WARLORD

Laird Sonoly.................................................Zoe

Daughter of a Bohemian Painter, Subversive Adolescent
HALF-ELF ROGUE

Illander Illrune.............................................Josh

Valonian Noble, Aspiring and Melancholy Poet
ELADRIN WARLOCK

THE DUNGEON MASTER.........................................Jeff