Chypirius, The Bard of Valon and Jerra's Pact Party

OK, so Will tells me about the Smoking Crystals show down at the Pendulous Bosom. Um, how did I miss that? I’m the guy who pays attention to that stuff. At least I have good buddies like Will to keep me in the loop when I’m clearly not paying attention. I guess all this stuff with Tamsen taking the pact has had me all distracted. She is actually really sensitive, and no one really seems to see that side of her. Everyone just thinks she’s this rich party girl, but deep down inside she has a lot of soul. She’s been pretty shaken lately by all this.

It’s great. I get lots of best friend time with Tamsen lately and I rarely have to go back to that shitbox in L.V. I’m not a snob or anything. I don’t imagine myself ever living in Upper Valon myself, but man, my house is just, whatever.

She’s got my back too. It the little things, like at Jerra’s pact party, Eugenium of all people showed up. I feel bad for the guy, because no one likes him. I tried to like him, but he makes it really hard. It’s like he intentionally digs himself into these socially awkward rabbit holes. So he shows up and I whisper to Tamsen, “Ugh, Eugenium is here” and she just said “Oh, he’s not that bad.” You know what? She’s right! If I start acting like that I’ll be as bad as any of the mean girls on the elite squad, and that’s not me. I am just so worried what people are going to think about me if they see me with him. Man. At least she’s keeping me real.

So the Smoking Crystals show was great and Ann was looking so hot. That girl is like twice my size, but when I look at her, I feel like a man. She kept looking at me during the show. I think she likes me. I hope she doesn’t just think I’m cute. Everyone thinks I’m cute, like some little brownie or something. I’m not a fairy, I’m a man. Hopefully I’ll get taller than this soon and grow a big beard and everyone will see just how manly, masculine and sexy I can be.

After the show I went up to Ann and we talked about lyre techniques and I told her what I fan I am, and she and Nancy decided to come along to Jerra’s pact party with us! Awesome.

So yeah, Jerra’s party. Maybe this is mean, but Tamsen and I are planning a little prank on Jerra. I mean, really, everyone acts like taking the pact is this funny, cool thing. But it’s not. It’s real and it’s scary. So we went to Ferrowick’s herb shop and we got this fast acting hair tonic that we are going to tell her it is an essential ointment for the pact. We’re going to light some candles, tell her to get undressed, I’ll strum my lyre, we’ll have her friends rub the ointment on her, we’ll do some chanting and then she’ll get all covered in hair, and then we’ll just say, “Oh no Jenna! It looks like it didn’t work!” That’s the plan anyway. I know it’s mean, and I’m not a mean guy, but really, this trend needs to stop someone. We’re doing everyone a favor.

This party got out of control real fast. Pavel, that brooding bad boy I think I’ve said three words to in my whole life, left with Eugenium and Tamsen to break into the neighbor’s house for some spell components. Oh! Why were Pavel and Eugenium hanging out? I did not expect that.

The components are for this bogus, or probably bogus, scroll that Jerra has that she wants to use to communicate with Illander Illrune. That would be wild if it worked, but it won’t. Anyway, why not try, right?

While they were gone, stuff got real crazy, real fast. I was putting the moves on Ann, and she was totally into it! Then Boramur tossed his cookies in the pool. Oh man, and I was left in charge. I had to go and clean it up. Once I finished, girls where running around in Tamsen’s clothes, the Smoking Crystals started playing again, people were dancing, some jerk was swinging on the chandelier, and of course this is when Tamsen gets back. Poor girl, they got caught and that jerk wizard took some of her hair. We went into the bedroom and I applied some of the tonic to her head. I hope it works, and I hope it works right. That’d be horrible if she had a big patch of badger hair on her head or something.

Anyways, we are going to try the scroll in a bit. Since Eugenium is here, and he really is a totally talented wizard, and maybe my lame-ass bard magic can help a little.

Oh yeah, I also had this really life-like dream that Ashleigh was in Tamsen’s kitchen. Which is weird, because I don’t think Ashleigh knew how to cook.