Day 2, Ashleigh Oberholt to Erevan Illrune

Dearest Erevan,

I am SO LONELY without you!!! You would not believe where I am staying--a rickety old house inhabited by a rickety old alchemist. I am so tired of the filth that seems to be everywhere that *isn't* Upper Valon--today we had to descend into the caves of some goblins to get a piece of magicum. My leadership prevailed, and the goblin leader gave us the magicum without much of a fight--Or rather, after I had planted on his sorry hide the most glorious sword swipe of the day.

Sadush felled four goblins all at once, which was impressive, but he vomited afterwards (after becoming the greenest shade of green I believe anyone has ever seen), which was LESS SO. But his Valonian training has clearly done him good. He is definitely learning from me, too, and I never fail to give him a few pointers after battle!!!

It is strange how powerful your little brother has become so fast--but I suppose it is not so much his own power as that of having been born a Chosen One. He is a little cold toward me, but he has always envied you. It is also very likely he secretly thinks I'm beautiful.

Ugh! The filthy half-elf, who just so happens to speak Goblin (of course), keeps nosing around. Did you know that she pretended to be blind in order to get a free sandwich? NOT very heroic. Today she fell into a trap (which I believe if she is supposed to do anything right it's look for traps, right???!?) and also insulted me after I gently asked whether being in a goblin hole aroused her (I believe she had a goblin boyfriend who read her poetry in that language).

Just this past moment I was finally able to make fire: the logs in the fireplace burst into flame--just like you taught me!!!

xoxoxo

Ashleigh

P.S. Tomorrow we ride in the bathysphere. I am confused about how it works.
P.P.S. The goblins somehow had a suit of eladrin chainmail which was PERFECT for me. It very nicely accentuates my breasts (which as you know are quite shapely) and is studded with rose quartz and decorated with a silvery filigree of acanthus leaves and daisies. Its style is old and I do not think it was made in Valon. Retro and pink are BOTH in--NOT that you would know, you are SO MANLY and must detest this girlish talk!!!
P.P.P.S. Have you seen Father?