I’m floating in the darkness. It feels so nice here! Nice and warm and dark. There was a faint light earlier, but it’s just a pinprick now. I don’t remember any of my problems. Why isn’t everyone here, it’s so nice! How did I get here? Let’s see, the last thing I remember… (flashes of crocodile jaws, teeth, slits of eyes, tremendous weight and strength overtaking me) AAAAAH! No no, that can’t have been real. (Flashback of Ashleigh telling me to get away and shut the door) Oh, that girl! Oh now I remember! We were all on a quest together. Ashleigh? (Flashback of Ashleigh asking if I want to have a girl talk) She and the green guy…Saddush (flashback of Saddush, smiling, backlit cinematically by the sun)… were captured…but they’re ok after all! I think?
(Flashback of Ileander trying to heal me) Oh him, he’s so nice! Ileander? He came to my aid, he tried to save me. Oh Corellon! Does that mean I’m dead? I don’t feel like I am. I feel like I’d know if I were.
(Flashback of Arterious the Bear saying “You are the Chosen Ones.” It echoes: chosen ones…chosen ones…chosen ones…) Oh that’s right! Oh, smelly dungheaps! (Flashback of adventure thus far. Flashes of teammates. Flashback of Halfling tribesmen falling in battle.) I guess I have to go back. But…maybe not yet...maybe I can float here in this nice darkness for a while longer…
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Day 4, Illander's Diary
Dearest Whomever,
I never thought I'd be so glad to see the inside of this wretched bathysphere. The attack on the lizardmen's compound was an utter failure, though we did manage to save Ashleigh and Sadush (not that I heard any thanks from either of them).
Most of the halflings we brought with us, after barely convincing them to fight, fell in battle. I am certain I will never forgive myself for not protecting them better. To make matters worse, Laird nearly fell twice. I did everything I could, but in the end I couldn't do much.
I suck.
If we are the chosen ones then why can't we do anything right? Are we supposed to learn something from all of this? What are we chosen for?
The strangest thing of all is that at our darkest hour a lizardman sorceror of some sort let us go. He had a strange amulet around his neck which I could tell to be of infernal origin. we couldn't speak to him because none of us can speak Draconic, but he seemed to be the same age as us. Are there chosen ones for the side of evil?
To do over the coming days: find out who this lizard sorceror is, translate the Draconic runes on the tablets into common, find out what purpose our presence on the island serves, nurse Laird back to health.
Also, write Erevan a letter about Ashleigh. I wonder how Iagon is faring with the merpeople. Better than I am here, hopefully.
A new poem:
The cold, cold touch
of death
you wear
like a cloak around you
is beautiful
when your hair is blowing in the wind.
It becomes you.
But do not wear it long for
you are chosen
hand picked for great deeds,
by elves and humans alike.
Your people.
And yet not your people.
You are alone.
And yet not alone.
I never thought I'd be so glad to see the inside of this wretched bathysphere. The attack on the lizardmen's compound was an utter failure, though we did manage to save Ashleigh and Sadush (not that I heard any thanks from either of them).
Most of the halflings we brought with us, after barely convincing them to fight, fell in battle. I am certain I will never forgive myself for not protecting them better. To make matters worse, Laird nearly fell twice. I did everything I could, but in the end I couldn't do much.
I suck.
If we are the chosen ones then why can't we do anything right? Are we supposed to learn something from all of this? What are we chosen for?
The strangest thing of all is that at our darkest hour a lizardman sorceror of some sort let us go. He had a strange amulet around his neck which I could tell to be of infernal origin. we couldn't speak to him because none of us can speak Draconic, but he seemed to be the same age as us. Are there chosen ones for the side of evil?
To do over the coming days: find out who this lizard sorceror is, translate the Draconic runes on the tablets into common, find out what purpose our presence on the island serves, nurse Laird back to health.
Also, write Erevan a letter about Ashleigh. I wonder how Iagon is faring with the merpeople. Better than I am here, hopefully.
A new poem:
The cold, cold touch
of death
you wear
like a cloak around you
is beautiful
when your hair is blowing in the wind.
It becomes you.
But do not wear it long for
you are chosen
hand picked for great deeds,
by elves and humans alike.
Your people.
And yet not your people.
You are alone.
And yet not alone.
Day 4, Ashleigh's War Journal
Dear Diary, WAR JOURNAL,
I guess these lizardfolk mean business. Somehow we survived the battle in their lair, but it was disastrous. I heard from the others that they tried a frontal assault and that something they called a "vine whore" slew most of the halflings (such strange creatures abound outside of Valon! Flying dolphins, translucent pianomen, and now prostitutes made of plants. Good thing Sadush didn't see her--HAHA!) Of course, things might have gone better had *I* been leading them and not Illander and Laird--whom I of course managed to save from being eaten by a crocodile--one of my goals, BTW, is to save her from HERSELF--We have a makeover planned and she will no doubt be partial to ANYTHING I suggest--but I plan to be kind, not cruel--cruelty is really not a part of my nature.
Anyway, we're now heading back to the dreary halfling settlement in this dreary bathysphere. Everyone is in low spirits, myself included. I do not know why the lizardman shaman we've seen in our dreams decided to spare us, but I know one thing--I'LL MAKE HIM REGRET IT.
So why have I started calling you a war journal, dearest diary? Well, I'm going to make some plans. It is what all the great commanders do--Granddad did it--and because I'm already a great commander I feel a little late to the party, you know? So here goes:
STRATEGIES FOR THE FUTURE
1. Frontal Assault? No. Tried that with a bathysphere and failed. The lizardmen will be prepared next time, and I fear we saw only a portion of their forces and only a small bit of their wretched dungeon.
2. Rear Assault? I do not think they have a rear--and if they did, Illander would probably have investigated it already because he is a homosexual.
3. Floor plan? This is where the halflings can help us. They live in a big stone dragon statue too, so maybe their network of caves is similar or identical to the lizardmen's. And MAYBE just MAYBE there's a secret entrance somewhere. A small party--say four CHOSEN ONES--could investigate, proceeding carefully and running if things looked too grim.
4. Return to Valon? No--we're here and any time we lose could help the enemies. I do not think they understand who they are dealing with--yet.
5. What about the rest of the island? If the lizardmen decide to make war on *us*, we need to know the lay of the land. Ask halflings.
6. Draconic runes: ask the halflings.
7. Consult Dungeon Master for any research problems, but do not bother trying to talk to Daddy because he is SO busy, probably with STEPMANTICORE.Daddy, Daddy, I'm through! For instance, ask about the possibility of EVIL CHOSEN ONES. The lizardman shaman looked to be about OUR age.
I guess these lizardfolk mean business. Somehow we survived the battle in their lair, but it was disastrous. I heard from the others that they tried a frontal assault and that something they called a "vine whore" slew most of the halflings (such strange creatures abound outside of Valon! Flying dolphins, translucent pianomen, and now prostitutes made of plants. Good thing Sadush didn't see her--HAHA!) Of course, things might have gone better had *I* been leading them and not Illander and Laird--whom I of course managed to save from being eaten by a crocodile--one of my goals, BTW, is to save her from HERSELF--We have a makeover planned and she will no doubt be partial to ANYTHING I suggest--but I plan to be kind, not cruel--cruelty is really not a part of my nature.
Anyway, we're now heading back to the dreary halfling settlement in this dreary bathysphere. Everyone is in low spirits, myself included. I do not know why the lizardman shaman we've seen in our dreams decided to spare us, but I know one thing--I'LL MAKE HIM REGRET IT.
So why have I started calling you a war journal, dearest diary? Well, I'm going to make some plans. It is what all the great commanders do--Granddad did it--and because I'm already a great commander I feel a little late to the party, you know? So here goes:
STRATEGIES FOR THE FUTURE
1. Frontal Assault? No. Tried that with a bathysphere and failed. The lizardmen will be prepared next time, and I fear we saw only a portion of their forces and only a small bit of their wretched dungeon.
2. Rear Assault? I do not think they have a rear--and if they did, Illander would probably have investigated it already because he is a homosexual.
3. Floor plan? This is where the halflings can help us. They live in a big stone dragon statue too, so maybe their network of caves is similar or identical to the lizardmen's. And MAYBE just MAYBE there's a secret entrance somewhere. A small party--say four CHOSEN ONES--could investigate, proceeding carefully and running if things looked too grim.
4. Return to Valon? No--we're here and any time we lose could help the enemies. I do not think they understand who they are dealing with--yet.
5. What about the rest of the island? If the lizardmen decide to make war on *us*, we need to know the lay of the land. Ask halflings.
6. Draconic runes: ask the halflings.
7. Consult Dungeon Master for any research problems, but do not bother trying to talk to Daddy because he is SO busy, probably with STEPMANTICORE.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Day 3: Sadush Seaborn, at the bottom of a pit with Ashleigh, awaiting sacrifice by lizardmen, to the halfling prisoners:
“Don’t mind Ashleigh not saying hello, she’s just preoccupied, trying to think of a way out of here. She’s not so bad. I guess she’ll never think the same about me though. On our way here, I asked the alchemist – yeah, Maleogre – to consult the I Ching and ask if Ashleigh would ever love me or at least be nice to me. He said the sticks indicated The Wall, an insurmountable barrier. So I guess that’s that. Wow she sure can pace. Makes this pit smell like rose petals. Look at her shake her head – she’s not giving up! Maybe if I was more than just a human I would find that kind of courage. She might as well be facing this alone for all the help I’m giving her – hey wait did you see? She just looked right at me! What does that mean? Maybe she doesn’t feel so alone, maybe -- oh man now she’s just sitting there all depressed. You can just tell she’s full of dark, disturbing thoughts. Maybe I should just go over there and put my arm around her to make her feel better. Should I? What would you do? I’m going … uh oh I’m not going over there, now she’s just making a fist and looking pissed! Don’t look at her, she’ll bite your head clean off. Seriously, don’t mess with her when she’s in that mood. Oh okay it’s cool now she’s smiling. She’s gorgeous isn’t she. I can’t help it. If I could just get back my sword I swear I’d kill enough of the lizardmen for her to feystep away. It would at least give her a chance! If I could just get up this wall – hey wait. The WALL of this pit! Being captured by lizardmen to be sacrificed to the green flamed skull. Now THAT’S an insurmountable barrier! Maybe the I Ching wasn’t saying there’s a wall between us that I can never cross, maybe it’s saying that she’ll love me when we’re BOTH going against that WALL!!! That’s it, I knew that there had to be a way! All fucking right! Hey she’s smiling – maybe she knows that I’m going to rescue her. She’s got such great hair. Now how hard would it be to climb out of this pit … not so hard …
Ashleigh, I’ve got an idea!”
Ashleigh, I’ve got an idea!”
Day 3, Illander's Diary
Dear Whomever,
Things have gone from dark to dismal. After the longest bathysphere ride with an undead captain I hope I ever take, we arrived on the tiny island that was our destination. While aboard the bathysphere I took in a session of the I Ching, a sort of fortune telling game. The old alchemist threw some bones down and lo and behold I received "the well". What do you suppose that means? I'll tell you-- a fundamental inability to complete my life's goals. Terrific.
Ashleigh of course took this ride as an opportunity to make nastly little comments about my journaling and my poetry. Sadush was being terribly forthright with Maleogre and so very moral. I've always considered myself a good person, but out here in the world... I don't know. It's taxing to always be so fair and moral and sugary sweet.
Once we landed we got Maleogre the Alchemist to agree to wait for us on the beach. As you know, we traveled here because of the dreams we've been having in which halflings are sacrificed by lizardfolk beneath immense stone dragons. What's strange is that the dragons on the island are not the dragons I've been dreaming about. The stautues in my dreams are much more ominous. I didn't tell the other three. None of them said anything about it, so I assume the dragon statues on the island are, indeed, the same stautues from their dreams. Why then am I having different dreams.
The halflings on the island were less than amicable and seemed generally upset to have a warlock in their midst. They claimed that their lot and the lizardfolk had always lived peacefully on opposite ends of the island. They would offer no help unless we could prove the lizardfolk had indeed sacrificed halflings. That said, we set a path for the other end of the island.
We were confronted with such horror! Scores and scores of animated halfling skeletons guarding the entrance to some sort of lizardfolk compound! Ashleigh, much to my chagrin, has been learning magic and took three skeletons out with one fell swoop. I know she's only doing this to be mean to me. I'm starting to really hate my brother, Erevan. Ashleigh's magic was not enough nor, to be fair, was mine. Ashleigh and Sadush were nearly killed and were taken into the compund. Thank Correllian that Laird survived. I'm waiting for her on the beach as I write this.
It is up to us now. I've brought a halfling skeleton with me as a proof that their people are being sacrificed to nefarious ends. I hope they see the light.
What's most surprising in all of this is that I am the one still alive. I am the one entrusted to rescue the others. I don't think anybody, myself included, thought this possible. As it turns out, I am the most powerful and not Ashleigh.
Please let me find the strength to continue.
No time for poetry!
Keep It Secret,
Illander Illrune
Things have gone from dark to dismal. After the longest bathysphere ride with an undead captain I hope I ever take, we arrived on the tiny island that was our destination. While aboard the bathysphere I took in a session of the I Ching, a sort of fortune telling game. The old alchemist threw some bones down and lo and behold I received "the well". What do you suppose that means? I'll tell you-- a fundamental inability to complete my life's goals. Terrific.
Ashleigh of course took this ride as an opportunity to make nastly little comments about my journaling and my poetry. Sadush was being terribly forthright with Maleogre and so very moral. I've always considered myself a good person, but out here in the world... I don't know. It's taxing to always be so fair and moral and sugary sweet.
Once we landed we got Maleogre the Alchemist to agree to wait for us on the beach. As you know, we traveled here because of the dreams we've been having in which halflings are sacrificed by lizardfolk beneath immense stone dragons. What's strange is that the dragons on the island are not the dragons I've been dreaming about. The stautues in my dreams are much more ominous. I didn't tell the other three. None of them said anything about it, so I assume the dragon statues on the island are, indeed, the same stautues from their dreams. Why then am I having different dreams.
The halflings on the island were less than amicable and seemed generally upset to have a warlock in their midst. They claimed that their lot and the lizardfolk had always lived peacefully on opposite ends of the island. They would offer no help unless we could prove the lizardfolk had indeed sacrificed halflings. That said, we set a path for the other end of the island.
We were confronted with such horror! Scores and scores of animated halfling skeletons guarding the entrance to some sort of lizardfolk compound! Ashleigh, much to my chagrin, has been learning magic and took three skeletons out with one fell swoop. I know she's only doing this to be mean to me. I'm starting to really hate my brother, Erevan. Ashleigh's magic was not enough nor, to be fair, was mine. Ashleigh and Sadush were nearly killed and were taken into the compund. Thank Correllian that Laird survived. I'm waiting for her on the beach as I write this.
It is up to us now. I've brought a halfling skeleton with me as a proof that their people are being sacrificed to nefarious ends. I hope they see the light.
What's most surprising in all of this is that I am the one still alive. I am the one entrusted to rescue the others. I don't think anybody, myself included, thought this possible. As it turns out, I am the most powerful and not Ashleigh.
Please let me find the strength to continue.
No time for poetry!
Keep It Secret,
Illander Illrune
Day 3, Laird's Triple-Locked Journal
From the Triple-Locked Journal of Laird Sonoly...
Oh Corellon!! I know I should keep running, I've got to find Ileander and rescue the others, but I just have to stop for a moment... my heart is in my throat, I can't breathe... I'm pretty sure I'm not being pursued, so I think I can take a moment or two here to rest.
Ashleigh and Sadush have been captured by lizardmen, and taken inside some compound, through the legs of a giant dragon statue (the very statue from my dreams!). I am praying that the lizardmen don't sacrifice them, that we don't meet their bones later in the marsh, stripped of flesh, empty eye sockets glowing red. Such abberations of nature, such mockeries of life, ugh! That's a sight I won't forget soon: when we first approached the lizardmen's side of the island (we're on Skaver's Moor D'More Island, but more on that later), we found it guarded by the undead skeletons of some of the missing halfling tribesmen. We fought them competently enough, but in the thick of battle, lizardmen began emerging and joining the frey. We'd kill one off and two would emerge to replace the last... I barely stayed on my feet! I was hit with more arrows than I could count, but I'm also tougher than I look. Everyone fought bravely, with Ashleigh and Saddush doing most of the heavy fighting. Unfortunately, this also meant they were the first to be felled and captured, which is exactly what happened! Lizardmen grabbed them and *walked* over the water of the marsh-moat (which I later tried to swim and nearly drowned doing so) to their compound. I did manage to make it across the moat, even after an evil lizardman druid caused the vines and stalks of the marshes to come to life, wrapping around me and trying to take me down to the bottom of the water. Although I wanted to push past him and chase after Saddush and Ashleigh (whom I had just started to come to like), but based on the noise I heard beyond the dragon's legs...I have a feeling it would have been really foolish to run in there, alone, and nearly dead as I am. So I turned around, jumped back IN the moat, and swam back from whence we'd come, in retreat. Ileander had already fled, and I'm hoping I can find him after this. We've got to convince the halfling tribesmen to help us so we can wage a more balanced attack on the lizardmen -- we now have no doubt that they ARE up to evil ends, capturing and sacrificing the halfling tribesmen who they were supposedly friends with?
I've got to press on and find Ileander, but in case I don't make it to write again...I want whomever to know, that I tried. I tried to do what was asked of me. I never asked to be chosen! I think I understand now, what Arterius the Bear meant, when he apologized for such a heavy burden being put on ones so young. Maybe it's *too* great of a burden. I don't know. But there's no turning back now.
Oh Corellon!! I know I should keep running, I've got to find Ileander and rescue the others, but I just have to stop for a moment... my heart is in my throat, I can't breathe... I'm pretty sure I'm not being pursued, so I think I can take a moment or two here to rest.
Ashleigh and Sadush have been captured by lizardmen, and taken inside some compound, through the legs of a giant dragon statue (the very statue from my dreams!). I am praying that the lizardmen don't sacrifice them, that we don't meet their bones later in the marsh, stripped of flesh, empty eye sockets glowing red. Such abberations of nature, such mockeries of life, ugh! That's a sight I won't forget soon: when we first approached the lizardmen's side of the island (we're on Skaver's Moor D'More Island, but more on that later), we found it guarded by the undead skeletons of some of the missing halfling tribesmen. We fought them competently enough, but in the thick of battle, lizardmen began emerging and joining the frey. We'd kill one off and two would emerge to replace the last... I barely stayed on my feet! I was hit with more arrows than I could count, but I'm also tougher than I look. Everyone fought bravely, with Ashleigh and Saddush doing most of the heavy fighting. Unfortunately, this also meant they were the first to be felled and captured, which is exactly what happened! Lizardmen grabbed them and *walked* over the water of the marsh-moat (which I later tried to swim and nearly drowned doing so) to their compound. I did manage to make it across the moat, even after an evil lizardman druid caused the vines and stalks of the marshes to come to life, wrapping around me and trying to take me down to the bottom of the water. Although I wanted to push past him and chase after Saddush and Ashleigh (whom I had just started to come to like), but based on the noise I heard beyond the dragon's legs...I have a feeling it would have been really foolish to run in there, alone, and nearly dead as I am. So I turned around, jumped back IN the moat, and swam back from whence we'd come, in retreat. Ileander had already fled, and I'm hoping I can find him after this. We've got to convince the halfling tribesmen to help us so we can wage a more balanced attack on the lizardmen -- we now have no doubt that they ARE up to evil ends, capturing and sacrificing the halfling tribesmen who they were supposedly friends with?
I've got to press on and find Ileander, but in case I don't make it to write again...I want whomever to know, that I tried. I tried to do what was asked of me. I never asked to be chosen! I think I understand now, what Arterius the Bear meant, when he apologized for such a heavy burden being put on ones so young. Maybe it's *too* great of a burden. I don't know. But there's no turning back now.
Day 3, Ashleigh Oberholt's Internal Monologue While Cruelly Imprisoned by Lizardmen
[Pacing.] How could this have happened? I am a Chosen One! A ridiculous series of events makes me fall on the field of battle--and I wake to find myself imprisoned by lizardmen, who, as everyone knows, are vicious disgusting cannibals, and as I know very well from my yeah-I-get-it repetitious dream sequences are also into sacrificing their victims. [Shaking head in wonder.] (I DID NOT know that they move three times as fast as other creatures and can walk on water, like the famous wine merchant of Viridistan.) Viridistan--Hmm, at least Sadush is here. [Glancing at Sadush.] That I ever thought myself capable of thinking THAT, or that I should consider myself glad to see his verdant hide--it makes me feel more dismal than ever. [Sitting down, head in hands.] If only Daddy had seen me off, perhaps I would have had the strength to smash that lizardman's skull. Doesn't he know that without his confidence in me I have...less...confidence in myself? Dark, disturbing thoughts. [Shaking head as if to rid herself of dark, disturbing thoughts.] In any case, if I die here, I am glad that he probably won't know that I failed miserably before I died--hmm--but then Valon would fall--and as a consequence he would *still* know that I failed!!! SO I MUSTN'T FAIL [Clenching her first unconsciously]. I have to get out of here. Perhaps Laird and Illander are seeking help. They both seem like people that don't mind asking for help once in a while--I know that I DON'T--which is, I guess, why they are who they are and why I am who I am--fiercely independent and beautiful. [Smiling slightly, despite the wretched circumstances.] Well, I can't blame myself in any way for being here, which is a relief. [Stands up and flips hair resolutely, then, struck by a thought, gropes in her backpack.] And we still have the Dungeon Master!!!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Day 2, Laird's Triple-Locked Journal
From the private, triple-locked journal of Laird Sonoly:
Oh Corellon, if *I* am one of the chosen ones, if *I*, out of all the humans and elves and half-elves and eladrin and dwarves and halflings and dragonborn in the whole world (??) was chosen to be some sort of great hero...well, I'm just really scared for the world, that's all. I am just pathetic. I feel like such a failure already. Maybe I shouldn't've been healed from the filth fever, maybe it's appropriate that that rat bit me. I dunno.
But, I *was* healed, and I guess I'm glad, I definitely do feel better...if I'd thought there was any romance to suffering from a wasting illness, far from home, I now know the truth. It's not romantic at all, it's just awful.
Anyway. So we went to the goblin's cave to retrieve the magicum core for the crazy inventor guy, the one who's gonna get us to Skaversmoor D'Moor Island (err, I hope). I finally got to one-up that know-it-all Ashleigh, because I *do* know a little goblin and no one else did. But of course she twisted it all around, I told her I knew it from my ex-bf (because he was a fence and he dealt w/ a lot of goblins), and she started joking that either he WAS a goblin, or that he and I read each other goblin love poems or some nonsense. Anyway. She can think what she wants I guess. I still messed things up right off the bat, though. I tried to trick the goblins into coming out to play cards with us, but I couldn't think of a fake name fast enough (I can think of like twenty right now, of course, but at that moment my mind went blank) and they saw through me and attacked us. And of course the head one wasn't even a goblin, it was a HOBgoblin, which, I mean I acted all, "Oh, they're pretty much the same thing," but, ah-NOOO, I know from Kenneth that they are smarter and tougher and I was like, crap.
Since I clearly totally suck at fighting (I couldn't even defend myself against a RAT), I figured I'd let the others do what they do best, and help *them* out by doing what *I* do best...or, what I thought I did best. I slipped through the battle and inside the cave to find the magicum core. Maybe I could redeem myself by retrieving it while they others distracted the goblins!? But, not so simple, turns out the "cave" was a whole complex. Not huge, mind you, but big enough that it wasn't just in and out. But thank Corellon no one was around, because I couldn't even pick a stupid lock to get through the first door, UGH, so ridiculous. And when I finally did, I was so pleased with myself, I walked right into a trap. A BABY could have seen that trap, I can't believe how much I spaced. I was just so upset about how badly I'd messed up already, but then I just made it worse by messing up more because I was distracted thinking about the first mess-ups.
Eventually, the others caught up with me and bailed me out. Ashleigh of course was able to get some laughs at my expense. I was like the punchline of a joke, sitting there at the bottom of a stupid 10 foot pit. Things got a little better after that, we encountered more goblins, and this time I stayed and fought, and actually did some damage! I think I even felled one, with a shot from my crossbow! Saddush did most of the heavy lifting, though, he is just inSANE. I mean, not insane, he is just really really good. And modest too, unlike Ashleigh! Ileander did a lot of fey warlock stuff, he just whispered words to a bunch of the goblins, and they cringed and fell and shrieked. I wonder what he said?? I kind of envied those goblins a little bit, I don't think I'd mind if Ileander were to whisper in my ear, it looked kinda sexy in a dark way. But then he got caught in an avalanche when one of the stone walls crumbled on top of him. I wanted to do something, but what could I do?? Nothing. I just froze and stared helplessly. Thank Corellon he ended up being ok, but I know he's mad at all of us, even if he keeps it to himself.
Anyway, eventually we got the goblin leader to surrender, and he gave us the magicum core just like that. It didn't look like I thought it would, it's just, like, a cylindar of regular stone. I think I thought it would look like a sparkly brain? Not sure. We got it back to the guy, who was SO out of it, he didn't even get it when we told him that the goblins had been *hired* by some wizard he apparently knows! And he almost forgot all about the bathysphere and us, too, but we reminded him. Hopefully we'll be going in the morning! I say hopefully, but really I should say "dreadfully." I'm sure I'm going to mess up a bunch more stuff tomorrow. I just pray to Corellon that I can have my wits about me and not be a total doof again!
Oh Corellon, if *I* am one of the chosen ones, if *I*, out of all the humans and elves and half-elves and eladrin and dwarves and halflings and dragonborn in the whole world (??) was chosen to be some sort of great hero...well, I'm just really scared for the world, that's all. I am just pathetic. I feel like such a failure already. Maybe I shouldn't've been healed from the filth fever, maybe it's appropriate that that rat bit me. I dunno.
But, I *was* healed, and I guess I'm glad, I definitely do feel better...if I'd thought there was any romance to suffering from a wasting illness, far from home, I now know the truth. It's not romantic at all, it's just awful.
Anyway. So we went to the goblin's cave to retrieve the magicum core for the crazy inventor guy, the one who's gonna get us to Skaversmoor D'Moor Island (err, I hope). I finally got to one-up that know-it-all Ashleigh, because I *do* know a little goblin and no one else did. But of course she twisted it all around, I told her I knew it from my ex-bf (because he was a fence and he dealt w/ a lot of goblins), and she started joking that either he WAS a goblin, or that he and I read each other goblin love poems or some nonsense. Anyway. She can think what she wants I guess. I still messed things up right off the bat, though. I tried to trick the goblins into coming out to play cards with us, but I couldn't think of a fake name fast enough (I can think of like twenty right now, of course, but at that moment my mind went blank) and they saw through me and attacked us. And of course the head one wasn't even a goblin, it was a HOBgoblin, which, I mean I acted all, "Oh, they're pretty much the same thing," but, ah-NOOO, I know from Kenneth that they are smarter and tougher and I was like, crap.
Since I clearly totally suck at fighting (I couldn't even defend myself against a RAT), I figured I'd let the others do what they do best, and help *them* out by doing what *I* do best...or, what I thought I did best. I slipped through the battle and inside the cave to find the magicum core. Maybe I could redeem myself by retrieving it while they others distracted the goblins!? But, not so simple, turns out the "cave" was a whole complex. Not huge, mind you, but big enough that it wasn't just in and out. But thank Corellon no one was around, because I couldn't even pick a stupid lock to get through the first door, UGH, so ridiculous. And when I finally did, I was so pleased with myself, I walked right into a trap. A BABY could have seen that trap, I can't believe how much I spaced. I was just so upset about how badly I'd messed up already, but then I just made it worse by messing up more because I was distracted thinking about the first mess-ups.
Eventually, the others caught up with me and bailed me out. Ashleigh of course was able to get some laughs at my expense. I was like the punchline of a joke, sitting there at the bottom of a stupid 10 foot pit. Things got a little better after that, we encountered more goblins, and this time I stayed and fought, and actually did some damage! I think I even felled one, with a shot from my crossbow! Saddush did most of the heavy lifting, though, he is just inSANE. I mean, not insane, he is just really really good. And modest too, unlike Ashleigh! Ileander did a lot of fey warlock stuff, he just whispered words to a bunch of the goblins, and they cringed and fell and shrieked. I wonder what he said?? I kind of envied those goblins a little bit, I don't think I'd mind if Ileander were to whisper in my ear, it looked kinda sexy in a dark way. But then he got caught in an avalanche when one of the stone walls crumbled on top of him. I wanted to do something, but what could I do?? Nothing. I just froze and stared helplessly. Thank Corellon he ended up being ok, but I know he's mad at all of us, even if he keeps it to himself.
Anyway, eventually we got the goblin leader to surrender, and he gave us the magicum core just like that. It didn't look like I thought it would, it's just, like, a cylindar of regular stone. I think I thought it would look like a sparkly brain? Not sure. We got it back to the guy, who was SO out of it, he didn't even get it when we told him that the goblins had been *hired* by some wizard he apparently knows! And he almost forgot all about the bathysphere and us, too, but we reminded him. Hopefully we'll be going in the morning! I say hopefully, but really I should say "dreadfully." I'm sure I'm going to mess up a bunch more stuff tomorrow. I just pray to Corellon that I can have my wits about me and not be a total doof again!
Day 2, Illander's Diary
Dearest Whomever,
Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside of yourself? That's how I've been feeling lately. I feel like I'm trapped inside of myself and there's this power that is dying to get out. I find it difficult to expres smyself and recently I've just totally holed up inside my own head. We fought a goblin army and I just couldn't do anything right. I even got caught beneath an avalance and the others just totally ignored me. Even Laird! I mean, I know Sadush is goofy over Ashleigh, but I thought maybe Laird would help me out. I almost died and nobody said one single word about it or lifted one finger to aid me!
I suppose I'll just have to keep trying to win their affections. After all, I'm chosen too. I'm also, special, right? Or is that a lie? I have to admit I don't feel special. I mean, accept for my arcane connection with the heavens or whatever.
How come it smells like rose petals after Ashleigh fey steps and like burning hair and electricity when I do it?
I should do daily affirmations to remind myself that I deserve to be on this adventure.
After we slayed the goblins Sadush threw up. I don't understand why. I mean, I know they're unpleasant little things, but honestly I kind of liked killing them a little. It feels good to shoot crackling energy from the stars through my wand. Oh yeah, I have a wand now.
Another poem I've been working on:
Jagged rocks
from an ancient wall.
Crash down and take this goblin.
Take me too.
Send me to death's dark bosom
where I will nurse from eternity's teet.
Forever.
Forever darknes and quiet.
I don't want
to smell rose petals anymore.
God, I am so depressing. I'm about to take a ride on a bathysphere. Let's hope the journey helps my weary old soul.
Keep it secret,
Illander Illrune
Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside of yourself? That's how I've been feeling lately. I feel like I'm trapped inside of myself and there's this power that is dying to get out. I find it difficult to expres smyself and recently I've just totally holed up inside my own head. We fought a goblin army and I just couldn't do anything right. I even got caught beneath an avalance and the others just totally ignored me. Even Laird! I mean, I know Sadush is goofy over Ashleigh, but I thought maybe Laird would help me out. I almost died and nobody said one single word about it or lifted one finger to aid me!
I suppose I'll just have to keep trying to win their affections. After all, I'm chosen too. I'm also, special, right? Or is that a lie? I have to admit I don't feel special. I mean, accept for my arcane connection with the heavens or whatever.
How come it smells like rose petals after Ashleigh fey steps and like burning hair and electricity when I do it?
I should do daily affirmations to remind myself that I deserve to be on this adventure.
After we slayed the goblins Sadush threw up. I don't understand why. I mean, I know they're unpleasant little things, but honestly I kind of liked killing them a little. It feels good to shoot crackling energy from the stars through my wand. Oh yeah, I have a wand now.
Another poem I've been working on:
Jagged rocks
from an ancient wall.
Crash down and take this goblin.
Take me too.
Send me to death's dark bosom
where I will nurse from eternity's teet.
Forever.
Forever darknes and quiet.
I don't want
to smell rose petals anymore.
God, I am so depressing. I'm about to take a ride on a bathysphere. Let's hope the journey helps my weary old soul.
Keep it secret,
Illander Illrune
Day 2, Ashleigh Oberholt to Erevan Illrune
Dearest Erevan,
I am SO LONELY without you!!! You would not believe where I am staying--a rickety old house inhabited by a rickety old alchemist. I am so tired of the filth that seems to be everywhere that *isn't* Upper Valon--today we had to descend into the caves of some goblins to get a piece of magicum. My leadership prevailed, and the goblin leader gave us the magicum without much of a fight--Or rather, after I had planted on his sorry hide the most glorious sword swipe of the day.
Sadush felled four goblins all at once, which was impressive, but he vomited afterwards (after becoming the greenest shade of green I believe anyone has ever seen), which was LESS SO. But his Valonian training has clearly done him good. He is definitely learning from me, too, and I never fail to give him a few pointers after battle!!!
It is strange how powerful your little brother has become so fast--but I suppose it is not so much his own power as that of having been born a Chosen One. He is a little cold toward me, but he has always envied you. It is also very likely he secretly thinks I'm beautiful.
Ugh! The filthy half-elf, who just so happens to speak Goblin (of course), keeps nosing around. Did you know that she pretended to be blind in order to get a free sandwich? NOT very heroic. Today she fell into a trap (which I believe if she is supposed to do anything right it's look for traps, right???!?) and also insulted me after I gently asked whether being in a goblin hole aroused her (I believe she had a goblin boyfriend who read her poetry in that language).
Just this past moment I was finally able to make fire: the logs in the fireplace burst into flame--just like you taught me!!!
xoxoxo
Ashleigh
P.S. Tomorrow we ride in the bathysphere. I am confused about how it works.
P.P.S. The goblins somehow had a suit of eladrin chainmail which was PERFECT for me. It very nicely accentuates my breasts (which as you know are quite shapely) and is studded with rose quartz and decorated with a silvery filigree of acanthus leaves and daisies. Its style is old and I do not think it was made in Valon. Retro and pink are BOTH in--NOT that you would know, you are SO MANLY and must detest this girlish talk!!!
P.P.P.S. Have you seen Father?
I am SO LONELY without you!!! You would not believe where I am staying--a rickety old house inhabited by a rickety old alchemist. I am so tired of the filth that seems to be everywhere that *isn't* Upper Valon--today we had to descend into the caves of some goblins to get a piece of magicum. My leadership prevailed, and the goblin leader gave us the magicum without much of a fight--Or rather, after I had planted on his sorry hide the most glorious sword swipe of the day.
Sadush felled four goblins all at once, which was impressive, but he vomited afterwards (after becoming the greenest shade of green I believe anyone has ever seen), which was LESS SO. But his Valonian training has clearly done him good. He is definitely learning from me, too, and I never fail to give him a few pointers after battle!!!
It is strange how powerful your little brother has become so fast--but I suppose it is not so much his own power as that of having been born a Chosen One. He is a little cold toward me, but he has always envied you. It is also very likely he secretly thinks I'm beautiful.
Ugh! The filthy half-elf, who just so happens to speak Goblin (of course), keeps nosing around. Did you know that she pretended to be blind in order to get a free sandwich? NOT very heroic. Today she fell into a trap (which I believe if she is supposed to do anything right it's look for traps, right???!?) and also insulted me after I gently asked whether being in a goblin hole aroused her (I believe she had a goblin boyfriend who read her poetry in that language).
Just this past moment I was finally able to make fire: the logs in the fireplace burst into flame--just like you taught me!!!
xoxoxo
Ashleigh
P.S. Tomorrow we ride in the bathysphere. I am confused about how it works.
P.P.S. The goblins somehow had a suit of eladrin chainmail which was PERFECT for me. It very nicely accentuates my breasts (which as you know are quite shapely) and is studded with rose quartz and decorated with a silvery filigree of acanthus leaves and daisies. Its style is old and I do not think it was made in Valon. Retro and pink are BOTH in--NOT that you would know, you are SO MANLY and must detest this girlish talk!!!
P.P.P.S. Have you seen Father?
Day 2, Sadush's Conversation at the Pendulous Bosom
Sadush Seaborn, at the Inn of the Pendulous Bosom, the night before our expedition against the goblins:
“You’re really a Bard? Wow, in Valon – I mean, at home … uhhh I’ve never been to Valon! Huh, I don’t know why … anyway, but there are a lot of good bards back in Viridistan, where I’ve lived all my life. This is good ale. Plenty better than the sailors drink in Valon! Can I have another? Here’s a silver because I have … anyway thanks. So you’re a Bard and you’re taking requests? Oh alright wait, wait … I’ll write down some – carve them on the table? Seriously? Well if the management doesn’t mind … maybe you could play these especially when that eladrin comes down … Ashleigh, she’s so … well she’s a little mean but … anyway she’s the flask of burning oil … yeah Laird is with us too. She’s really funny. She’s half-elven. I think Illander likes her. He’s smart, he read me one of his poems and he could be a bard too. Wow, I’m sure talking a lot! Oh I get another ale with that silver? That’s great. Thank you.
Could you play …
No Dragons! (Gotta Get Someplace Uneaten!)
When My Fair Eladrin Girl Did Turn Her Violet Eyes To Me
Feystep! (Into My Heart!)
Born to Cleave – hells yeah! Valon Junior Guard Cadets #1!
Second Wind
My Baby is a Doppelganger
Sweet Child O’ the Feywild
Walkin’ On Radiant Damage
Charge This Way
What’s Level Got To Do With It?
Shifting the Night Away
Do You really Want To Mark Me?
Minion’s Delight
Don’t Go Back To the City State of the Invincible Overlord
Valon Nights 4ever
“You’re really a Bard? Wow, in Valon – I mean, at home … uhhh I’ve never been to Valon! Huh, I don’t know why … anyway, but there are a lot of good bards back in Viridistan, where I’ve lived all my life. This is good ale. Plenty better than the sailors drink in Valon! Can I have another? Here’s a silver because I have … anyway thanks. So you’re a Bard and you’re taking requests? Oh alright wait, wait … I’ll write down some – carve them on the table? Seriously? Well if the management doesn’t mind … maybe you could play these especially when that eladrin comes down … Ashleigh, she’s so … well she’s a little mean but … anyway she’s the flask of burning oil … yeah Laird is with us too. She’s really funny. She’s half-elven. I think Illander likes her. He’s smart, he read me one of his poems and he could be a bard too. Wow, I’m sure talking a lot! Oh I get another ale with that silver? That’s great. Thank you.
Could you play …
No Dragons! (Gotta Get Someplace Uneaten!)
When My Fair Eladrin Girl Did Turn Her Violet Eyes To Me
Feystep! (Into My Heart!)
Born to Cleave – hells yeah! Valon Junior Guard Cadets #1!
Second Wind
My Baby is a Doppelganger
Sweet Child O’ the Feywild
Walkin’ On Radiant Damage
Charge This Way
What’s Level Got To Do With It?
Shifting the Night Away
Do You really Want To Mark Me?
Minion’s Delight
Don’t Go Back To the City State of the Invincible Overlord
Valon Nights 4ever
Day 1, Laird's Triple-Locked Journal
From the private, triple-locked journal of Laird Sonoly:
All I can say is...what?? Just happened? One day I'm babysitting my little brother while mom is at he market and the next day I'm off fulfilling some prophecy and nearly dying of fever on a pirate ship off the coast of Malakkar!
It's true! Just the other morning I was playing hide and seek with Nails, when an OWL flew to the window, like, seeking ME! It had a letter addressed specifically to ME from the COUNCIL of TWELVE?! They wanted me to come to the Nimbus Apparatus in like an HOUR. (I've been to the Nimbus Apparatus before, but I've never gotten that close, but this time I had, like, an official invitation!) But of course mom wasn't home when she said she'd be...ugh! But that's ok, I found her at the market and gave Nails to her 'cuz I had to GO! At first she didn't believe me that it was a real letter, she thought I forged it. Which, probably every OTHER time would probably be true, but not this time.
I got to the Nimbus Apparatus and there was this dorky green-skinned pencil-neck exchange student named Saddush, he had a letter too. The tight-assed dwarf let us up and the next thing I knew, we're flying straight up on a cloud! I acted like it was no big deal, but I was FREAKING OUT. Not so much 'cuz I've never been to Upper Valon before, but, hello, flying cloud! And then the NEXT thing I knew, we were standing in front of the council of 12! And another guy and girl were there: this sorta-cute-in-a-tortured/deep-sorta-way eladrin, Illeander, but also, UGH. This CLOWN of a eladrin, so ridiculous, I think her name is Ashleigh? Or Ashley or Ashlee? In any case I'll try to forget it. ANYWAY. So the next thing I knew, Arterious the Bear (apparently ashleigh is his granddaughter, so aha, then it became clear what was what) was bowing to us all and giving us presents. I got burglary gloves! Which is so ironic! I mean, aren't the council of 12 supposed to be encouraging me to be all lawful and stuff?
But they say there's no free lunch, or free burglary gloves anyway, and so A. the B. started into his speech. And finally all the weird dreams I've been having make sense, because he said we're all Chosen Ones, we've ALL been having those dreams, and they hold the key to, like, really important stuff. And he talked about what a big responsibility and burden this was, we have to be all secretive and work together and take this crystal ball called the Dungeon Master and, for starters at least, save these halfling tribesmen from my (and their) dreams? I don't really understand all of what he was saying, or what it means...what any of this means... all I can say is, if I am bound to 3 other people for the REST of my LIFE, I can't believe one of them has green skin and one of them is named Ashleiiighyeyyyyyy. Kill me NOW. But Illeander is ok, he took care of me later on the pirate ship when I was hurling my lungs out from filth fever and seasickness. But I guess it's the least he could do considering he's the one who EXPLODED a giant rat on me and covered me in disgusting hot rat guts (<- aka, "essense of ashleigh"). UGH.
There's SO much more to tell, but I'm getting tired now, I'm still recovering from being so sick...I got healed in Malakkar (which IS as cool as everyone says!) but I'm still feeling a little iffy. I don't know if all of this is for real or what, but for now, it's fine by me to get out of V-alone for however long it's gonna be. I just wish i could have said goodbye to mom and Nails, but, it's not like I'm never going to see them again, right?!
All I can say is...what?? Just happened? One day I'm babysitting my little brother while mom is at he market and the next day I'm off fulfilling some prophecy and nearly dying of fever on a pirate ship off the coast of Malakkar!
It's true! Just the other morning I was playing hide and seek with Nails, when an OWL flew to the window, like, seeking ME! It had a letter addressed specifically to ME from the COUNCIL of TWELVE?! They wanted me to come to the Nimbus Apparatus in like an HOUR. (I've been to the Nimbus Apparatus before, but I've never gotten that close, but this time I had, like, an official invitation!) But of course mom wasn't home when she said she'd be...ugh! But that's ok, I found her at the market and gave Nails to her 'cuz I had to GO! At first she didn't believe me that it was a real letter, she thought I forged it. Which, probably every OTHER time would probably be true, but not this time.
I got to the Nimbus Apparatus and there was this dorky green-skinned pencil-neck exchange student named Saddush, he had a letter too. The tight-assed dwarf let us up and the next thing I knew, we're flying straight up on a cloud! I acted like it was no big deal, but I was FREAKING OUT. Not so much 'cuz I've never been to Upper Valon before, but, hello, flying cloud! And then the NEXT thing I knew, we were standing in front of the council of 12! And another guy and girl were there: this sorta-cute-in-a-tortured/deep-sorta-way eladrin, Illeander, but also, UGH. This CLOWN of a eladrin, so ridiculous, I think her name is Ashleigh? Or Ashley or Ashlee? In any case I'll try to forget it. ANYWAY. So the next thing I knew, Arterious the Bear (apparently ashleigh is his granddaughter, so aha, then it became clear what was what) was bowing to us all and giving us presents. I got burglary gloves! Which is so ironic! I mean, aren't the council of 12 supposed to be encouraging me to be all lawful and stuff?
But they say there's no free lunch, or free burglary gloves anyway, and so A. the B. started into his speech. And finally all the weird dreams I've been having make sense, because he said we're all Chosen Ones, we've ALL been having those dreams, and they hold the key to, like, really important stuff. And he talked about what a big responsibility and burden this was, we have to be all secretive and work together and take this crystal ball called the Dungeon Master and, for starters at least, save these halfling tribesmen from my (and their) dreams? I don't really understand all of what he was saying, or what it means...what any of this means... all I can say is, if I am bound to 3 other people for the REST of my LIFE, I can't believe one of them has green skin and one of them is named Ashleiiighyeyyyyyy. Kill me NOW. But Illeander is ok, he took care of me later on the pirate ship when I was hurling my lungs out from filth fever and seasickness. But I guess it's the least he could do considering he's the one who EXPLODED a giant rat on me and covered me in disgusting hot rat guts (<- aka, "essense of ashleigh"). UGH.
There's SO much more to tell, but I'm getting tired now, I'm still recovering from being so sick...I got healed in Malakkar (which IS as cool as everyone says!) but I'm still feeling a little iffy. I don't know if all of this is for real or what, but for now, it's fine by me to get out of V-alone for however long it's gonna be. I just wish i could have said goodbye to mom and Nails, but, it's not like I'm never going to see them again, right?!
Day 1, Illander's Diary
Dear Whomever,
So much is happening! I was told a few days ago that I'm one of the "chosen ones" and I was sent out on a quest with Asleigh (who of course was chosen too) and two kids from Lower Valon. There's Sadush, a green human who lives in a run down old shack... just like a poet! The other kid is a half elf named Laird. She seems super tough and intimidating. I saw her do a round off with a dagger in her mouth!
What are we chosen for? good question. We must battle a sleeping evil that's about to wake up or something. We're all having dreams about it and stuff. I almost forgot... We took a pirate ship! Sadush and Laird got bit by giant rats and had filth fever, but I nursed them back to health. Ashleigh didn't do anything. I'm trying to see the good in her for Erevan's sake, but she makes it really hard.
It feels good to take care of people. I like being needed. Maybe if I keep working hard the others will like having me around.
I feel so much less sad out here than I did at home. I mean, I've never been chosen for anything. I always thought, why can't it ever be me? Why can't I be special like Erevan or Ashleigh or Iagon? My parents are so proud which feels good, actually. I don't think they've ever been proud of me except for when I did my ritual and gained power.
Anyway, we have to go battle goblins and receive a magicum core so an alchemist can transport us to a secret island in his magic bathysphere. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the best part... we're traveling under aliases, so I don't have to be an Illrune! I'm so excited!
I wrote this poem. It's called "Carry Me":
Water.
Ice.
Splash and whoosh.
Carry me, ship.
Fly me far on wings of anticipation
for the mysterious "what's to come".
Carry me from the tedium of high society and
the boredom of the bourgousie
high
in their "Upper City". They who
look down on the rest. "The lower".
Never knowing it's those they look down on,
those they pity,
that walk in grace and nobility.
Carry me, ship.
Carry me through water, through ice.
Whoosh.
Carry me far enough,
so I won't come back.
It has a few kinks yet, but I'll keep working on it.
Keep it Secret,
Illander Illrune aka "Iagon"
So much is happening! I was told a few days ago that I'm one of the "chosen ones" and I was sent out on a quest with Asleigh (who of course was chosen too) and two kids from Lower Valon. There's Sadush, a green human who lives in a run down old shack... just like a poet! The other kid is a half elf named Laird. She seems super tough and intimidating. I saw her do a round off with a dagger in her mouth!
What are we chosen for? good question. We must battle a sleeping evil that's about to wake up or something. We're all having dreams about it and stuff. I almost forgot... We took a pirate ship! Sadush and Laird got bit by giant rats and had filth fever, but I nursed them back to health. Ashleigh didn't do anything. I'm trying to see the good in her for Erevan's sake, but she makes it really hard.
It feels good to take care of people. I like being needed. Maybe if I keep working hard the others will like having me around.
I feel so much less sad out here than I did at home. I mean, I've never been chosen for anything. I always thought, why can't it ever be me? Why can't I be special like Erevan or Ashleigh or Iagon? My parents are so proud which feels good, actually. I don't think they've ever been proud of me except for when I did my ritual and gained power.
Anyway, we have to go battle goblins and receive a magicum core so an alchemist can transport us to a secret island in his magic bathysphere. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the best part... we're traveling under aliases, so I don't have to be an Illrune! I'm so excited!
I wrote this poem. It's called "Carry Me":
Water.
Ice.
Splash and whoosh.
Carry me, ship.
Fly me far on wings of anticipation
for the mysterious "what's to come".
Carry me from the tedium of high society and
the boredom of the bourgousie
high
in their "Upper City". They who
look down on the rest. "The lower".
Never knowing it's those they look down on,
those they pity,
that walk in grace and nobility.
Carry me, ship.
Carry me through water, through ice.
Whoosh.
Carry me far enough,
so I won't come back.
It has a few kinks yet, but I'll keep working on it.
Keep it Secret,
Illander Illrune aka "Iagon"
Day 1, Ashleigh Oberholt to Erevan Illrune
My Dearest Love Erevan,
It is so hard to be a Chosen One because it means that I have to be away from you!--but otherwise, I seem to be up to the challenge. I wish I could say the same for the other (non-Eladrin) Chosen Ones, who just got over being miserably ill from a battle with rats--RATS! Daddy always told me that the lack of privilege made folk from Lower Valon "hearty," but I have seen precious little proof of it. One of them is--I kid you not!--totally green, like kale.
I'm taking very good care of your little brother--He's so sweet and well-meaning--I'm a little annoyed that he talked me into spending all of my money on carrion crawler brain juice, but the little guy was so excited about it that I couldn't help it. He's just like a little kid! Of course, his powers (such as they are) are nothing compared to yours. I wish YOU had been a Chosen One instead, but I guess that would go against the whole being-born-on-the-same-day prophecy--I *love* that you are so mature and strong and wise. I miss you, and all of Upper Valon--the rest of the world seems so dingy--or most of it, anyway. Did you know ice was COLD?
The wizards and alchemists downstairs are making such a row. What could it be about, I wonder? The people here are very WEIRD! Illander and I visited a twisted old wizard today who should be able to get us where we want to go, but first we have to find a magicum core that some goblins stole. He has something called a bathysphere which goes underwater.
Speaking of magic, guess what?! I have almost mastered that little trick you showed me of making things burst into flame. It just goes to show that anything is possible for me when I put my mind to it!
Love and hearts to you my Erevan,
Ashleigh
P.S. I wish you could see the flying dolphins at sunset. They are so beautiful. I whispered to them that I knew how they felt--but I can NEVER truly know how they feel without you by my side!!!!
It is so hard to be a Chosen One because it means that I have to be away from you!--but otherwise, I seem to be up to the challenge. I wish I could say the same for the other (non-Eladrin) Chosen Ones, who just got over being miserably ill from a battle with rats--RATS! Daddy always told me that the lack of privilege made folk from Lower Valon "hearty," but I have seen precious little proof of it. One of them is--I kid you not!--totally green, like kale.
I'm taking very good care of your little brother--He's so sweet and well-meaning--I'm a little annoyed that he talked me into spending all of my money on carrion crawler brain juice, but the little guy was so excited about it that I couldn't help it. He's just like a little kid! Of course, his powers (such as they are) are nothing compared to yours. I wish YOU had been a Chosen One instead, but I guess that would go against the whole being-born-on-the-same-day prophecy--I *love* that you are so mature and strong and wise. I miss you, and all of Upper Valon--the rest of the world seems so dingy--or most of it, anyway. Did you know ice was COLD?
The wizards and alchemists downstairs are making such a row. What could it be about, I wonder? The people here are very WEIRD! Illander and I visited a twisted old wizard today who should be able to get us where we want to go, but first we have to find a magicum core that some goblins stole. He has something called a bathysphere which goes underwater.
Speaking of magic, guess what?! I have almost mastered that little trick you showed me of making things burst into flame. It just goes to show that anything is possible for me when I put my mind to it!
Love and hearts to you my Erevan,
Ashleigh
P.S. I wish you could see the flying dolphins at sunset. They are so beautiful. I whispered to them that I knew how they felt--but I can NEVER truly know how they feel without you by my side!!!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Day 0, Illander's Diary
Dear Whomever,
Nobody in Upper Valon knows what it's like to be me. Mother and Father always say, "When I was your age this", and "when I was your age that." They were never my age. I wish things would go back to the way they were before the incident because everybody looks at me when I'm out on the town and I can hear people whispering about me too and nobody ever looked at me like this before. I know it's because of what I did. People know.
I just wish I could be alone.
Mother and Father keep saying how proud or me they are bu I can't see why. All I did was read some book in the library. I didn't work for the power like Iagon or Erevan. I'm no good at magic. I probably would have been an awful wizard anyway. At least I don't have to study it anymore. Whoever said all the Illrune men had to be wizards, anyway?
Speaking of Erevan... Ashleigh came around this week. Everybody thinks she's so beautiful and talented and of course she is but really, deep down, I'm still afraid of her. I think she'll always be the little girl who called me carrion crawler and tried to push me off of Upper Valon. She's been nicer to me, but part of me still doesn't trust her. Am I bad person for writing such mean things about her? I have to make an effort to be more welcoming to her, if for no other reason than for Erevan's happiness. He is my brother and I love him even though her punches me sometimes and mostly ignores me.
He won't be able to ignore me forever. I can feel something shifting in me and it scares me. I can do things now that I'm not sure I feel comfortable with.
P.S.- Iagon sent me a conch shell from the Merfolk!
Keep it Secret,
Illander Illrune
Nobody in Upper Valon knows what it's like to be me. Mother and Father always say, "When I was your age this", and "when I was your age that." They were never my age. I wish things would go back to the way they were before the incident because everybody looks at me when I'm out on the town and I can hear people whispering about me too and nobody ever looked at me like this before. I know it's because of what I did. People know.
I just wish I could be alone.
Mother and Father keep saying how proud or me they are bu I can't see why. All I did was read some book in the library. I didn't work for the power like Iagon or Erevan. I'm no good at magic. I probably would have been an awful wizard anyway. At least I don't have to study it anymore. Whoever said all the Illrune men had to be wizards, anyway?
Speaking of Erevan... Ashleigh came around this week. Everybody thinks she's so beautiful and talented and of course she is but really, deep down, I'm still afraid of her. I think she'll always be the little girl who called me carrion crawler and tried to push me off of Upper Valon. She's been nicer to me, but part of me still doesn't trust her. Am I bad person for writing such mean things about her? I have to make an effort to be more welcoming to her, if for no other reason than for Erevan's happiness. He is my brother and I love him even though her punches me sometimes and mostly ignores me.
He won't be able to ignore me forever. I can feel something shifting in me and it scares me. I can do things now that I'm not sure I feel comfortable with.
P.S.- Iagon sent me a conch shell from the Merfolk!
Keep it Secret,
Illander Illrune
Day 0, Laird's Triple-Locked Journal
From the private, triple-locked journal of Laird Sonoly:
So I live in Valon, big WHOOP. If you removed the V and added an e, the name just as easily becomes the word ALONE. And that's what I am. I live in Valon but I might as well live up a dwarf's butt. Mom says I'm lucky to live in such an "enlightened" city, where everyone is treated "equally" and knowledge and the arts are "valued." A city where there are so many "opportunities" for "young" people, like that I get to go to school with all the hoity-toity eladrin from ooh-la-la UPPER VALON. Like I'm so lucky that that hag Gilthoniela from the Council has a thing for "dad" and she pulled some strings to get me admitted, despite my "half-breed" (her exact words, THANKS) status. I hate school. I hate everything about school. Except I guess Mistress Illinewyn, the Fine Arts teacher, she's ok I guess. For my self-portraiture assignment last fall, I stole one of my dad's paintings from the headmaster's antechamber and painted it black and turned it in, and he was going to expel me (please DO!!) and make me pay for it because it's supposedly worth like so much money, but she talked him out of it, and she even gave me a pretty good mark for that assignment. She said that as a portrait, it reflected a "poignant disregard for legacy and an internal struggle for belonging." Well, whatever. So yeah, she's pretty cool except I really would have loved to have been expelled. If only so I don't have to smell that anorexic twit Ashleigh's stench as her soul decomposes in front of me in history class. I can't believe they don't expel HER, she is so mean and everyone knows it. She even told Nails that I wasn't really his sister because he has a different dad than me. He's only 8, he doesn't even know what "half-sister" means, he started crying because he thought they were going to cut me in half.
Anyway, thank Corellon that I have some escape. If I couldn't sneak out at night and explore the city on my own, I don't know what I'd do. I only got caught once, when I ALMOST stole an antique helmet of the sylvan guard (WHY do I need an antique helmet of the sylvan guard? I don't!) from Seneschal Evershine and I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for her stupid dog. (I got out of that one by acting like I was under a drow Hypnosis spell, she totally fell for it.) I'm not gonna go out tonight, though, I'm too tired. I haven't been able to sleep in class like usual (ha ha) because of these weird dreams. So annoying! Maybe tomorrow though. I want to climb up Astronomer's Tower and write backwards on the outer lens of the big telescope, so when they look through they'll see it says "I pee rainbows" or something. Ha ha! They'll never know how that got there.
So I live in Valon, big WHOOP. If you removed the V and added an e, the name just as easily becomes the word ALONE. And that's what I am. I live in Valon but I might as well live up a dwarf's butt. Mom says I'm lucky to live in such an "enlightened" city, where everyone is treated "equally" and knowledge and the arts are "valued." A city where there are so many "opportunities" for "young" people, like that I get to go to school with all the hoity-toity eladrin from ooh-la-la UPPER VALON. Like I'm so lucky that that hag Gilthoniela from the Council has a thing for "dad" and she pulled some strings to get me admitted, despite my "half-breed" (her exact words, THANKS) status. I hate school. I hate everything about school. Except I guess Mistress Illinewyn, the Fine Arts teacher, she's ok I guess. For my self-portraiture assignment last fall, I stole one of my dad's paintings from the headmaster's antechamber and painted it black and turned it in, and he was going to expel me (please DO!!) and make me pay for it because it's supposedly worth like so much money, but she talked him out of it, and she even gave me a pretty good mark for that assignment. She said that as a portrait, it reflected a "poignant disregard for legacy and an internal struggle for belonging." Well, whatever. So yeah, she's pretty cool except I really would have loved to have been expelled. If only so I don't have to smell that anorexic twit Ashleigh's stench as her soul decomposes in front of me in history class. I can't believe they don't expel HER, she is so mean and everyone knows it. She even told Nails that I wasn't really his sister because he has a different dad than me. He's only 8, he doesn't even know what "half-sister" means, he started crying because he thought they were going to cut me in half.
Anyway, thank Corellon that I have some escape. If I couldn't sneak out at night and explore the city on my own, I don't know what I'd do. I only got caught once, when I ALMOST stole an antique helmet of the sylvan guard (WHY do I need an antique helmet of the sylvan guard? I don't!) from Seneschal Evershine and I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for her stupid dog. (I got out of that one by acting like I was under a drow Hypnosis spell, she totally fell for it.) I'm not gonna go out tonight, though, I'm too tired. I haven't been able to sleep in class like usual (ha ha) because of these weird dreams. So annoying! Maybe tomorrow though. I want to climb up Astronomer's Tower and write backwards on the outer lens of the big telescope, so when they look through they'll see it says "I pee rainbows" or something. Ha ha! They'll never know how that got there.
Day 0, Sadush's Reflective Composition Assignment
Master Alethelasimarithinwyndarethdril
Sadush Seaborn
Remedial Elven Junior Guard Cadet
Fall Semester
Lower City Docks
3½ Dock-End
Reflective Composition Assignment
Topic 4: “On the Gradual Gathering of Grief as We Eladrin Slip by the Centuries into the Waking Sleep of the Feywild, Nevermore to Walk the Snowy Woods of this World ‘Neath the Frozen Towers of Valon”
I feel that this topic applies to me because even though I’m not an Eladrin or Elf or Half-Elf, or a Halfling or Dwarf or anything like that for example a gnome but am only a human and will die after only a few decades unless I am killed in battle defending the walls of Valon which would be a great honor and really is my fondest wish, as the poets say!, except that my tutors have taught me valuable life lessons about life and everything and that it’s precious and we should live everyday as if it’s your last because someday it will be and all the Eladrin kids look bemused and all the Elven kids laugh merrily because they say, “But teacher that day will come long centuries from now and why have a care for anything and why not just take it merrily and have some lambas” but they don’t understand that for certain people there are certain facts about their background that make them different from other people in Valon of the Icy Towers High and Low the Glory of the North and these certain people will not live for long centuries but will probably be killed on patrol by a dire polar bear and even if they don’t will get old and die while other persons who don’t have this certain background are just messing around eating lambas and not taking anything seriously even when it’s stuff that’s important they are laughing merrily like how to do a really effective “tide of iron” rush which is not easy AT ALL and it’s NOT just about being strong because it requires you to judge the angle of your opponent’s weapon to make sure that your shield both a) deflects it above you as you crouch into your approach (the 5th form swordmaster says that if you don’t get “a” right, “b” doesn’t matter and that really cracks me up like every time because it’s true! If you don’t get it right you’ll be killed by your opponent’s weapon and you’re dead! Lol!) and b) ….
… and finally k) you’ll want to kill the ones who are flanking you PDQ then return to first position! I really love Advanced Swords because my guidance counselor says I have a facility with the curriculum, but I have a difficulty with other areas of the curriculum, like Elven no offense Master Alethelasimarithinwyndarethdril, even though I really appreciate the Eladrin and Elves and really all the Fey in general of Valon for taking me in after my ship went down and I was cast adrift and nearly drowned and was freezing to death on the shore and the wolves were coming out of the woods for me and I’m not kidding and boy was I glad to see the patrol, even though they looked at me funny and I didn’t speak one word of Elven and they said that I spoke common funny too with accent of Viridistan where I came from but I sure don’t want to go back even though most of the other people there are humans and have green skin like me so I wouldn’t feel like such a freak but if you want to know the truth most people are really cool about it and say it’s not my fault though they keep making stupid plant jokes like I haven’t heard them like a mess of score of times each which actually relates to what I wanted to say about the topic, which is topic 4, which you know what it is because you gave us the topic choices and they were all very integral but I decided that topic 4 was more integral for me because even though I’m not and Eladrin or anything and stuff but I do know about the gradual gathering of grief because I’ve been gathering plenty of it from Ashleigh Oberholt who is the head of the Eladrin Elite Cheerleading Squad and the Junior Guard Cadets of which I am one were cooperating on battle drills, cheers and mournful songs of the forgotten beauties of ancient Valon though mostly we Cadets just stick to battle drills and cheering which is good when it’s loud because then my accent is not as irritating to others and we were warming up and I was doing alternate toe touches to stretch out and I was holding a bent over position with my butt up in the air and those cadet dress clothes are pretty tight and she comes up behind me and I am sure she was saying something about how I looked funny with my butt out and how it is green, which it is I’m not saying it’s not because everyone knows but she didn’t have to talk about it and she couldn’t even see my actual butt because of the pants and even though she was talking all fancy in high Eladrin with all these “cool” words from millennia gone I could totally tell the kind of thing she was saying and it was all “I’d like to get my hands on that butt” which means she wants to show that it’s green which everyone already knows and boy she is mean and bossy but on the other hand she really knows her stuff because the Elite are very tight and battleready and the truth is us cadets are mostly sort of sloppy but on the other hand they have better equipment and they clean things with magic and we mostly just have to scrub a lot and use fishoil to keep our weapons shiny, which I can hardly smell anymore but other people can and she’s really very beautiful though please don’t tell anyone I wrote that Master Alethelasimarithinwyndarethdril because it would be very embarrassing for me personally in fact I wish I hadn’t said it but I don’t have a magical pen that can take ink away and I can’t really afford another piece of vellum but so I am asking you to please understand and not say anything to anyone and especially not her father who is a really great person and maybe she’ll be more like him later anyway but it doesn’t matter because who am I kidding and that’s my reflective composition I hope you like it and will give me a good grade because I tried hard but please don’t tell her.
Sadush Seaborn
Remedial Elven Junior Guard Cadet
Fall Semester
Lower City Docks
3½ Dock-End
Reflective Composition Assignment
Topic 4: “On the Gradual Gathering of Grief as We Eladrin Slip by the Centuries into the Waking Sleep of the Feywild, Nevermore to Walk the Snowy Woods of this World ‘Neath the Frozen Towers of Valon”
I feel that this topic applies to me because even though I’m not an Eladrin or Elf or Half-Elf, or a Halfling or Dwarf or anything like that for example a gnome but am only a human and will die after only a few decades unless I am killed in battle defending the walls of Valon which would be a great honor and really is my fondest wish, as the poets say!, except that my tutors have taught me valuable life lessons about life and everything and that it’s precious and we should live everyday as if it’s your last because someday it will be and all the Eladrin kids look bemused and all the Elven kids laugh merrily because they say, “But teacher that day will come long centuries from now and why have a care for anything and why not just take it merrily and have some lambas” but they don’t understand that for certain people there are certain facts about their background that make them different from other people in Valon of the Icy Towers High and Low the Glory of the North and these certain people will not live for long centuries but will probably be killed on patrol by a dire polar bear and even if they don’t will get old and die while other persons who don’t have this certain background are just messing around eating lambas and not taking anything seriously even when it’s stuff that’s important they are laughing merrily like how to do a really effective “tide of iron” rush which is not easy AT ALL and it’s NOT just about being strong because it requires you to judge the angle of your opponent’s weapon to make sure that your shield both a) deflects it above you as you crouch into your approach (the 5th form swordmaster says that if you don’t get “a” right, “b” doesn’t matter and that really cracks me up like every time because it’s true! If you don’t get it right you’ll be killed by your opponent’s weapon and you’re dead! Lol!) and b) ….
… and finally k) you’ll want to kill the ones who are flanking you PDQ then return to first position! I really love Advanced Swords because my guidance counselor says I have a facility with the curriculum, but I have a difficulty with other areas of the curriculum, like Elven no offense Master Alethelasimarithinwyndarethdril, even though I really appreciate the Eladrin and Elves and really all the Fey in general of Valon for taking me in after my ship went down and I was cast adrift and nearly drowned and was freezing to death on the shore and the wolves were coming out of the woods for me and I’m not kidding and boy was I glad to see the patrol, even though they looked at me funny and I didn’t speak one word of Elven and they said that I spoke common funny too with accent of Viridistan where I came from but I sure don’t want to go back even though most of the other people there are humans and have green skin like me so I wouldn’t feel like such a freak but if you want to know the truth most people are really cool about it and say it’s not my fault though they keep making stupid plant jokes like I haven’t heard them like a mess of score of times each which actually relates to what I wanted to say about the topic, which is topic 4, which you know what it is because you gave us the topic choices and they were all very integral but I decided that topic 4 was more integral for me because even though I’m not and Eladrin or anything and stuff but I do know about the gradual gathering of grief because I’ve been gathering plenty of it from Ashleigh Oberholt who is the head of the Eladrin Elite Cheerleading Squad and the Junior Guard Cadets of which I am one were cooperating on battle drills, cheers and mournful songs of the forgotten beauties of ancient Valon though mostly we Cadets just stick to battle drills and cheering which is good when it’s loud because then my accent is not as irritating to others and we were warming up and I was doing alternate toe touches to stretch out and I was holding a bent over position with my butt up in the air and those cadet dress clothes are pretty tight and she comes up behind me and I am sure she was saying something about how I looked funny with my butt out and how it is green, which it is I’m not saying it’s not because everyone knows but she didn’t have to talk about it and she couldn’t even see my actual butt because of the pants and even though she was talking all fancy in high Eladrin with all these “cool” words from millennia gone I could totally tell the kind of thing she was saying and it was all “I’d like to get my hands on that butt” which means she wants to show that it’s green which everyone already knows and boy she is mean and bossy but on the other hand she really knows her stuff because the Elite are very tight and battleready and the truth is us cadets are mostly sort of sloppy but on the other hand they have better equipment and they clean things with magic and we mostly just have to scrub a lot and use fishoil to keep our weapons shiny, which I can hardly smell anymore but other people can and she’s really very beautiful though please don’t tell anyone I wrote that Master Alethelasimarithinwyndarethdril because it would be very embarrassing for me personally in fact I wish I hadn’t said it but I don’t have a magical pen that can take ink away and I can’t really afford another piece of vellum but so I am asking you to please understand and not say anything to anyone and especially not her father who is a really great person and maybe she’ll be more like him later anyway but it doesn’t matter because who am I kidding and that’s my reflective composition I hope you like it and will give me a good grade because I tried hard but please don’t tell her.
Day 0, Ashleigh's Diary
Dear Diary,
I led the Eladrin Elite squad today. Everyone performed miserably! Our martial flair was absolutely flairless, the swords couldn't cut air, and the spear section might as well have impaled itself. Seriously, I do not know what these wretches do in their spare time but it CERTAINLY isn't practicing formations. Also, Councilman Verun's daughter looks SO fat. I pointed this out as subtly as I could by counting double when I came to her in roll call. She left crying, so I think she took the hint.
Father says I have to attend the Council with him soon. He insists that I spend time with the Woman-Who-Is-Not-My-Mother (also known as the Queen of Stupidity. Step-Manticore, or simply THE BITCH), who can teach me the finer points of speaking in the House. I told him I could pick up the same wisdom from him, but he says that he is far too busy. He IS a High Councilman, of course. Other girls should be so lucky.
I had another dream last night. Not pleasant, but then it seems that hardship is my lot in life. No one really knows what I face EVERY DAY. Father says I'm very hard on people--but life is hard on ME; perhaps because it expects so much from me. I suppose it IS rather silly of me to expect as much from other people...But if I were one of them, I would feel privileged to serve me.
xoxoxo
Ashleigh
I led the Eladrin Elite squad today. Everyone performed miserably! Our martial flair was absolutely flairless, the swords couldn't cut air, and the spear section might as well have impaled itself. Seriously, I do not know what these wretches do in their spare time but it CERTAINLY isn't practicing formations. Also, Councilman Verun's daughter looks SO fat. I pointed this out as subtly as I could by counting double when I came to her in roll call. She left crying, so I think she took the hint.
Father says I have to attend the Council with him soon. He insists that I spend time with the Woman-Who-Is-Not-My-Mother (also known as the Queen of Stupidity. Step-Manticore, or simply THE BITCH), who can teach me the finer points of speaking in the House. I told him I could pick up the same wisdom from him, but he says that he is far too busy. He IS a High Councilman, of course. Other girls should be so lucky.
I had another dream last night. Not pleasant, but then it seems that hardship is my lot in life. No one really knows what I face EVERY DAY. Father says I'm very hard on people--but life is hard on ME; perhaps because it expects so much from me. I suppose it IS rather silly of me to expect as much from other people...But if I were one of them, I would feel privileged to serve me.
xoxoxo
Ashleigh
The Players
Sadush Seaborn...........................................Adrian
Shipwrecked Young Sailor of Viridistan, now Soldier of Valon
HUMAN FIGHTER
Ashleigh Oberholt.........................................Zach
Valonian Noble, Leader of the Eladrin Elite Enthusiasm Squad
ELADRIN WARLORD
Laird Sonoly.................................................Zoe
Daughter of a Bohemian Painter, Subversive Adolescent
HALF-ELF ROGUE
Illander Illrune.............................................Josh
Valonian Noble, Aspiring and Melancholy Poet
ELADRIN WARLOCK
THE DUNGEON MASTER.........................................Jeff
Shipwrecked Young Sailor of Viridistan, now Soldier of Valon
HUMAN FIGHTER
Ashleigh Oberholt.........................................Zach
Valonian Noble, Leader of the Eladrin Elite Enthusiasm Squad
ELADRIN WARLORD
Laird Sonoly.................................................Zoe
Daughter of a Bohemian Painter, Subversive Adolescent
HALF-ELF ROGUE
Illander Illrune.............................................Josh
Valonian Noble, Aspiring and Melancholy Poet
ELADRIN WARLOCK
THE DUNGEON MASTER.........................................Jeff
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